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Though it lacks the funny porn title of a Schindler's Fist or Shaving Ryan's Privates, Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Comedy — complete with an actual score and choreography — has one of those amusing porn plots only the tame, pre-VHS '70s could've created. Produced by Bill Osco (the man behind Flesh Gordon), the 1976 skin flick stars Kristine DeBell as a shy, virginal Alice who experiences a sexual awakening thanks to a topless Queen of Hearts, incestuous brother and sister Tweedledee and Tweedledum, and Humpty Dumpty, who needs help getting back up in more ways than one. (You may recognize Larry Gelman, who plays the White Rabbit, from his more legit roles, including Maude and The Bob Newhart Show). The movie's hokey innocence might've passed for kid friendly if it weren't for the topless wood nymphs dancing everywhere, the orgy scene in the royal court and lyrics like, "What's a nice girl like you doing on a knight like this?" Bea Arthur is spinning in her grave and into the grave of Lewis Carroll.
Thu., May 27, 10 p.m., 2010

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