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Monday, July 28, 2014

Nebraska, a personable and modest 22-year-old dishwasher from Lincoln, Nebraska, takes a punch. - NATE "IGOR" SMITH
  • Nate "Igor" Smith
  • Nebraska, a personable and modest 22-year-old dishwasher from Lincoln, Nebraska, takes a punch.
As our nation's culture and economy continues to deteriorate, more and more people are taking an interest in watching people beat the shit out of each other. While, under normal circumstances, these events are highly promoted and take place in giant arenas after two opponents carefully train, there is still a place where brawls remain brutal, honorable and organized.

Hosted by Pennsylvania rap/metal outfit Wolfpac, juggalo combat is one of the more intense experiences at the Gathering of the Juggalos, America's weirdest, largest music festival, put on by Psychopathic Records and Insane Clown Posse each summer, and this year set in rural Thornville, Ohio.

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NATE "IGOR" SMITH
  • Nate "Igor" Smith
Another Gathering of the Juggalos has come and gone, and with it thousands of face-painted, fun-loving freaks and misfits to and from the event's first year in Thornville, Ohio. While the move from the deep wilderness of Cave-In-Rock, Illinois, to this year's decidedly more inhabited location did make the experience seem less like being on another planet, there was still an overabundance of hilarious and strange things happening at all times.

Here are the best overheard quotations from the the 2014 edition of the Gathering of the Juggalos.

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Jon Levin playing guitar with Dokken - COURTESY OF JON LEVIN
  • Courtesy of Jon Levin
  • Jon Levin playing guitar with Dokken
If it wasn’t for grunge, Jon Levin never would have gone to law school.

Throughout the late ‘80s, Levin had built himself a solid career as a heavy metal guitarist, most notably with the German band Warlock. But when Nirvana hit, he saw the writing on the wall.

“In an instant, you saw the entire Sunset Strip going from guys with long hair looking like they wanted to play in Whitesnake to, all of a sudden, everyone’s wearing flannel,” he remembers, looking back on the year he cut his hair and enrolled in Loyola Law School.

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See Wednesday: Aerosmith - PHOTO COURTESY OF THE ARTIST
  • Photo courtesy of the artist
  • See Wednesday: Aerosmith
Be sure to check out our constantly updated concert calendar!

Monday, July 28

Washing Machines
THE SATELLITE
Some bands wear their influences on their sleeves, but L.A.’s Washing Machines helpfully put them in their song titles: “Sonic Fuck” ain’t so far from Sonic Youth, and “Vaseline” ain’t so far from one of The Vaselines’ sarcasto-pop tracks. (Alt. title: “Urinal Vaseline,” just to rep for local noiseniks The Urinals, whose spirit is also at work here.) The opener of their recent EP is “Big Cyst,” but if that’s a band, it’s beyond the search-engine capabilities of this writer — but those tore-up vocal hooks are adeptly Cobainian, and the topic is just one medical emergency away from Nirvana’s “Aneurysm.” (Plus there’s the album Washing Machine by Sonic Youth.) Anyway, they obviously love what they love and they do it with gusto. If you wanna start a label called Sub SST Pop, here’s your first signing. —Chris Ziegler

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Sunday, July 27, 2014

better-1.jpg
Life sucks. There are a multitude of reasons why, and no one has come to terms with this inescapable truth better than juggalos. Zen masters of nihilism and partying, they have become unquestionable experts at finding creative ways to cope with the unrelenting pain of reality.

Behind the fun-at-any-cost, consequences-be-damned attitude of these clown-painted fiends lies a cache of truly virtuous and respectable traits. You might be unable to comprehend that people who seem so strange might have something profound to teach you, so we've put together this list, outlining just what it is that makes juggalos better than everyone else.

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Clearly, this man takes the top honors - NATE "IGOR" SMITH
  • Nate "Igor" Smith
  • Clearly, this man takes the top honors
Juggalo fashion generally involves great big pants and T-shirts that were possibly purchased at truck stops. Hair is best when it is braided and aloft in the style of Coolio, and everything looks better coated in a thin layer of sticky-delicious Faygo, of course.

But some juggalos go out of their way to trot out their hottest looks for the Gathering of the Juggalos, Here, then, are the 20 best-dressed juggalos at this year's big event.

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Saturday, July 26, 2014

Big LA, on the left, star of TMZ's video that went viral yesterday. - NATE "IGOR" SMITH
  • Nate "Igor" Smith
  • Big LA, on the left, star of TMZ's video that went viral yesterday.

Yesterday, TMZ posted a video of a juggalo stripper giving a lap dance to the belly button of an enormously fat man here at the Gathering — a short film actually shot by DJ Paul of Three 6 Mafia/Da Mafia 6ix fame. The video quickly went viral.

We know what you are asking yourself: Who is this man of such impressive girth? How did he and the kindly young lady in the video find one another? Luckily for you, we have these answers which you seek.

The man's name is Big LA. He is here at the Gathering of the Juggalos with Mike Busey (and the "Busey Beauties"), an Orlando-based full-service party organization headed up by the nephew of celebrated actor legendary madman Gary Busey. Together, Busey, Big LA and their beauties have been operating something of an outdoor stripclub here on the grounds.When one wanders past Busey's makeshift stripper-pole setup, one is invited to come and purchase a T-shirt. Those who do so are then ushered over to a nearby chair for a gratis lap dance from the girls, who can otherwise be found pole-dancing and swinging and spraying water at one another.

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Tiffany and Dip Set, juggalo bride and groom, exhange vows. - DREW AILES
  • Drew Ailes
  • Tiffany and Dip Set, juggalo bride and groom, exhange vows.

"Please, we ask you to hold your Faygo until the wedding begins," a woman with electric green braids instructs the crowd. Standing anxiously nearby is the groom, outfitted in a Jack Skellington top hat. His big day has arrived — he is about to be wed to the love of his life, here at the Gathering of the Juggalos in Thornville, Ohio.

"I'm gonna try and fuck her in the butt tonight," he jokes.

As dedicated to their juggalo family as they are to one another, Tiffany and Dip Set, bride and groom, are here to tie the marriage noose at the Gathering's Carousel Stage.

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Friday, July 25, 2014

A young juggalo faces the punishment for his crimes - NATE "IGOR" SMITH
  • Nate "Igor" Smith
  • A young juggalo faces the punishment for his crimes
Those in the outside world tend to view the Gathering of the Juggalos as a lawless festival of debauchery, with apparently violent clowns — "gang members," even, if you ask the U.S. government — running rampant and chaos ruling the day.

In actuality, this notion is far from the truth. Juggalos in attendance not only consistently treat one another with respect, but even have an institutionalized arbiter of disputes for when conflict does arise.

Have an issue with a fellow juggalo? Take them to Juggalo Night Court.

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Groundislava - FRIENDS OF FRIENDS
  • Friends of Friends
  • Groundislava
Like a lot of teenagers in 2003, Jasper Patterson was obsessed with The Matrix. Then his mother gave him a copy of William Gibson’s groundbreaking cyberpunk sci-fi novel, Neuromancer. “This is where it all started,” she told him.

Ever since, Patterson, who produces electronic music under the name Groundislava, has been a huge cyberpunk fan. And with his forthcoming third album, Frozen Throne, due out in September, he’s finally incorporating that obsession into his music.

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    Life sucks. There are a multitude of reasons why, and no one has come to terms with this inescapable truth better than juggalos. Zen masters of nihilism and partying, they have become unquestionable experts at finding creative ways to cope with the unrelenting pain of reality. Behind the fun-at-any-cost, consequences-be-damned...
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    Be sure to check out our constantly updated concert calendar! Monday, July 28 Washing Machines THE SATELLITE Some bands wear their influences on their sleeves, but L.A.’s Washing Machines helpfully put them in their song titles: “Sonic Fuck” ain’t so far from Sonic Youth, and “Vaseline” ain’t so far from...
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