Things We Learned from the Intelligent Design Controversy
1. Some complexity is irreducible.
2. Evolutionary theory has gaps.
3. Gaps are evidence of God.
4. Naomi Watts is evidence of God.
5. God doesnt play dice, but he does play Life.
6. God is falsifiable.
7. Whats religion in Delaware is science in Kansas.
8. Thirty-eight Nobel laureates arent as smart as the Kansas Board of Education.
9. Its quite possible that humans rode dinosaurs.
10. Any crackpot theory deserves a hearing, unless it involves spaghetti.
11. A man is like a watch: If you dont wind him up, he doesnt work right.
12. Some people spell Creationism with only two letters.
Unanswered Questions of 2005
1. Why is there still no pornstar named Laura Bush?
2. When will Osama bin Laden be captured from his perch at the Texas School Book Depository?
3. Has the Taliban formally merged with the Religious Right, or are they just dating?
4. Why, when the Easter Bunny rises from Lincolns Tomb on Christmas Day, does it fail to obey Santas shadow?
5. Can we start the impeachment proceedings yet, or do we have to wait for the blowjob?
6. What do you mean, MY problem; whats YOUR fucking problem, you arrogant, ignorant, overpaid fuck?
7. Seriously, people whats with the lack of blowjobs around here?
8. Were getting off track, now, dont you think?
9. Is there some way to ensure that Cheneys cellmate will be a man of inordinate girth and passion?
10. How about now? (See 5, above.)
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