The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Vegas, Baby (With Video Links)

Are we noticing a theme here?
Are we noticing a theme here?
bravotv.com

In this episode, we got a bit more insight into the relationships the Real Housewives have with their husbands. And my what a spectrum we're working with here. First, the scenario:

The gals and all their plus ones jaunted off to Vegas courtesy of Ms. Adrienne Maloof for a night of debauchery at the Palms, which of course, she owns. They flew commercial though, which shocked us, meaning they had to mingle with the commoners at Baggage Claim. Ew! Standard Vegas activities ensued: lavish dinners, poolside lounging and of course, a Jay-Z concert. It should be noted that most of the women copped to not knowing any Jay-Z songs (except "that New York one,") but of course still ended up with front row seats. Bitches.

During the course of events, this is what we discovered about our fair ladies' marriages:

Taylor and Russell: A Marriage of Convenience. Taylor knows her husband works nonstop, and that nothing will change that. Not even being on vacation changes that apparently, since Russell worked in a business trip to Scottsdale during pool time. Taylor was visibly bummed, but not as bummed as when he made her leave the post-Jay-Z party because he was bored. Direct quote from Taylor: "He drives the bus in this relationship." Another even sadder direct quote: "I truly wanted to marry someone for love as opposed to just marrying to get to where to I wanted to be in life. But..." [insert yammering about how Russell's a workaholic] "I hope it was the right thing to do."

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Clearly they're not close, and Taylor must have some pent up sexual energy, which she took out on the cotton candy.

Adrienne and Paul: Codependent. On second thought, let's drop the "Co" from that title. Really Paul is just a tagalong. This whole trip started as a girls weekend, but Paul invited himself. And the other husbands.

Kyle and Mauricio: Cautiously Optimistic. They appear to have a fairly loving relationship actually, which is nice, though Kyle will murder you if you come near her husband. "I trust my husband. I don't trust other women," she tells us. Mauricio likely feels his wife's vibe, which is probably why he steered clear of Camille most of the weekend...

Camille's "Rent-a-Husband" Nick
Camille's "Rent-a-Husband" Nick
bravotv.com

Camille and Kelsey:...Divorced. Oh, Camille. This situation is just becoming sad to watch. So, we already know the pair has split up in real life, but even if they hadn't, Kelsey probably would have left her after watching this episode. Camille's alone for a full year while her husband is in New York performing on Broadway, and as she tells it, "When Kelsey's away, I tend to hang out with guy friends who are very athletic." One particular guy friend is Nick, who she plays tennis and flirts shamelessly with. He even made a surprise pop-in to Vegas, joining Camille for a PDA-filled dinner, and we think, dessert, since she abruptly and mysteriously left the post-Jay-Z party early. Prior to Nick's arrival, Camille was all over everyone else's husbands, dancing like a stripper, taking Paul's cash between her boobs, slamming tequila with the boys. ("I don't drink!' she protested the day before.) It was a sad scene, mostly because the other girls were seething with jealousy.

Lisa and Ken: Pretty vanilla. As far as we can tell at this point, anyway. More so Lisa revealed her feelings for Russell - that he's a socially-awkward, un-cute wet blanket. We gotta hand it to her for honesty.

Kim and ???: Poor lonely Kim. We felt for her in this episode, particularly as every couple went around the table sharing their first date stories at the pre-Jay-Z dinner. Perhaps she should take a cue from Camille and "rent-a-husband."

Vegas ended on an awkward note, or so we're told, when Kyle asked Camille about an upcoming trip to Hawaii, and Camille, feeling "interrogated," snapped "Why does this bother you so much?" So says Camille, Kyle followed with something along the lines of "Why would anyone be interested in you without Kelsey there?" Kyle denies this, and frankly, it seems like a non sequitur, so we're not buying it. We didn't actually see this exchange - it was explained to us as Camille gossiped her side to Lisa and Kyle confided her side in her oldest daughter Farrah. Kyle asked her, "What does this mean?" and Farrah proved to be the smartest woman on the show by responding, "What it means is, nothing changes from high school."


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