Stage Raw: Mr. Merkin Misses His Second Deadline

Stage Raw: Mr. Merkin Misses His Second Deadline

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BREAKING NEWS: Stage Raw regrets to announce that Mr. Merkin has still failed to file his long promised review of Monty Python's Spamalot, opening tonight at the Ahmanson Theatre. In Monday's posting, the ubiquitous renegade theater critic apologized for missing his first deadline because he was confined within a Warsaw police lockup over the weekend on undisclosed charges. Stage Raw conducted its own investigation with the Warsaw municipal police. Desk Sargent Adam Wroclowski told us there was no record of Mr. Merkin being arrested within the past month.

Stage Raw: Mr. Merkin Misses His Second Deadline

Monty Python's Spamalot. Photo by Joan Marcus

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"We are very familiar with Mr. Merkin," Wroclowki said, "The last time we had him in custody was April, 2007."

Mr. Merkin now admits that this story was a ruse, an excuse for what was apparently a weekend-long bender that extended into yesterday -- a drinking binge provoked by the deeply moving publicity around Michael Jackson's funeral, that Mr. Merkin was watching from a bar in the city's north east sector.

Stage Raw is aware that some of you are becoming skeptical of Mr. Merkin's judgment and competence. There have been rumblings in the comments section that the "loser" should be fired and replaced with a 9-year-old. (Very funny, Mr. Seldis.) All 37 of us on staff here at Stage Raw (including the copy editors, the fact-checkers, and our international theater research department, to whom I'm deeply indebted)  plead for your patience. You'll see when the review comes in the quality of Mr. Merkin's writing, his erudition and the breadth of his vision; the soaring, linguistic acrobatics contained in his wit. We will post his review of Monty Python's Spamalot on Friday.  Mr Merkin says he will gouge out his right eye before he fails to meet another deadline, and we take him at his word.

For more local stage happenings, press the Continue Reading tab directly below.

BRITISH INVASION

Founded in London and now with offices in New York, Aquila Theatre brings As You Like It to the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels, 555 West Temple St., downtown; July 11-19, 8 p.m. (no perfs on Mondays). The production is presented by Shakespeare Festival/LA. (213) 481-2273.

MB Productions presents a new interpretation of Eurpides' classic horror-tragedy, The Bacchae, devised, performed and produced by students of Oxford University, England.
This tour is presented with thanks to the Oxford University Drama Society and the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art, London. Attic Theatre, 5429 W. Washington Blvd., Los Angeles, 10-11 July, 8 p.m. Free. (323) 525-0661.
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EVEN YOU CAN HAVE SEVEN MINUTES OF FAME

Ten performers get seven minutes each to do anything they want in 10 Tops, coming Monday night to Sacred Fools, 660 N. Heliotrope Drive in east Hollywood. Sign ups are at 7:30, show at 8. Optional theme: "Fool's Paradise"

STONEWALL RAPTURE, FERNANDO & SO HARD

Fri.-Sat., July 11 & 12, 8:30 p.m.: Our Gayng, in association with Highways Performance Space, presents Gay Powered: Now & Then -- a multi-media theatrical presentation featuring John W. McLaughlin and Derek Ringold, and curated by Michael Kearns. 1651 18th St., Santa Monica. (310) 315-1459.

CAROL LEIFER AT THE RENBERG

July 11, 8 p.m.: Carol Leifer will read from her collection of essays, When You Lie About Your Age, the Terrorists Win, at L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center, Renberg Theater, The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N. McCadden Place in Hollywood. (323) 860-7300.

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