Seven Terrible L.A. Halloween Costumes (With Suggested Improvements)

Yes. Yes it is.
Yes. Yes it is.

OMFG! Halloween starts this weekend! Even though CVS put out the candy and the knickknacks right after Labor Day, you still waited 'til the last minute to get a costume, didn't you? Only recent temperate climate transplants that have been waiting for the palm trees to change color (they don't) before they recognize that it's fall can be let off the hook for procrastinating (but not for their poor understanding of science). You've all had plenty of time -- so what do you do? Where do you go?

We spoke to three awesome costume shops, Ozzie Dots in Los Feliz, The Costume Shoppe in Glendale, and Robinson Beautilities in Culver City (and a bunch more terrible ones) to get an idea of what Angelenos were wearing this year on All Hallows Eve. In all honesty, Halloween doesn't end for most people in this town, so we thought that we might hear some great ideas and some fantastic costumes.

Turns out, as Christian from Robinson Beautilities informed us, "There's a lot of superheroes...always lots of pirates, and lots of recent movie Drive and Black Swan." Even the folks at the Costume Shoppe said that it has been a pretty conservative year full of "cowboys, indians, pirates...that sort of thing." Seems somewhat banal for Hollyweird, doesn't it? What about the oddballs, the weirdos, and the downright awful train-wreck costumes?

We may have to ride out the weekend to get the full spectrum, but we took a completely unscientific survey of costume salespeople to get an idea of the absolute worst ideas they've seen so are seven (with suggested improvements):

7. "This is My Costume" T-Shirt

Yes, these t-shirts are still for sale and people still buy them. The worst part about all of it is that people are buying them well before the last minute. On purpose. With conviction.

Better Alternative: Just stay at home. You're probably "that guy" everywhere you go and it would be better for everyone if you just stayed in, ok? There's going to be some great movies on TV...some of which might actually give you a good idea for next year.

Hi, I'm terrible!
Hi, I'm terrible!

6. Sexy Free Sprit Costume (or, Anything from the pre-packaged Sexy Section).

This requires little explanation. The unoriginality and the shamelessness do NOT cancel each other out. This isn't even a step up from the Sexy Cat you were last year, or the Sexy Cop you did the year before that. This is just Halloween at its worst.

Suggested Alternative: How about a Sexy Crushed Spirit? Or anything that reminds you of the myriad of strides women's rights have taken in the past 200 years...but, y'know...sexier? How's about a downtrodden 1900s Suffragette or a 1840s Lowell Mill Girl? Bonus points if you go all black and white (including makeup).

Exploited 19th century labor is totes hawt.
Exploited 19th century labor is totes hawt.
Wikimedia Commons.

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