If you haven't done your kegel exercise lately, don't bother. "They don't work," says Veronica Matlock, one of the stars of TLC's Plastic Wives, a special (not yet a series) airing Sunday January 27 at 10 p.m.
As you may have already guessed, Plastic Wives is not a new Tupperware club. Veronica along with Dayna Devon, Alana Sands and Frances Marques are (were) married to some of the most celebrated (and equally well-groomed and maintained) plastic and cosmetic surgeons in Beverly Hills.
For Dayna Devon, TV personality and former co-host of Extra whose face is her work, taking advantage of her husband Dr. Brent Moelleken's sweet expertise is a necessary blessing. "After 40, things change," says Dayna. "I want to extend my shelf life and be the best version of myself." Mission accomplished, Dayna.
TLC not only follows their extreme lifestyles of luxury, drama, Botox (Bo Bo) parties and labiaplasty in a one-hour special, but lets us meet the dynamic women behind the men who are making the world a more beautiful place, one butt cheek at a time.
Frances Marques owns a plastic surgery center with ex husband Dr. Ryan Stanton who's performed two of Frances' four breast implants, turning them from "fried eggs" to fresh-baked "cupcakes" (to use her own words).
Since then she has had many other procedures done including a labiaplasty. Ok, we know what you're thinking. Does she happen to have her labia in a plastic jar she keeps at home? Why, yes, she does, and is gracious about showing it off. Stay tuned.
Veronica's husband is endearingly known as "the vagina man." (By his wife only. We suggest you don't call his office asking for "the vagina man" but for Dr. David Matlock instead). A registered nurse and a graduate student receiving her master of science in nursing, she is not too disturbed by her husband's daily routine of vagina patrolling. She has the advantage of having a clinical perspective.
Alana Sand's husband, Dr. Kevin Sands is a cosmetic dentist to Beverly Hill's most elite. She's the owner and designer of Emerson Ryder Jewelry. Oh, and she's an awesome friend. How many of your friends would be there when you're getting a G-spot injection from your husband? None. That's how many.
In case you're wondering, the G-spot injection is real and comes very highly recommended by Veronica (and I'm guessing soon by everyone else). It's an injection way up there to enhance sexual pleasure for those who are sexually healthy and active (and can locate their G-spot without Google maps).
In this mecca of plastic surgery, there's a pretty high threshold for what constitutes as an extreme cosmetic procedure, a threshold these women are raising with their fearless and unapologetic message that surgery does not make people anymore superficial or artificial than does your everyday makeup routine, manicure or hair extension.
"We're talking about what no one else is talking about and taking the taboo out of plastic surgery," says Dayna.
Whether you're a cancer survivor in need of breast reconstruction, suffering from urinary incontinence or simply prefer your labia in a jar than loitering on your vagina, just know that you have options and should not be afraid to explore them. Scientific and medical progress has redefined and broadened the meaning of "natural."
That's not to say these plastic wives are irresponsible, running around getting injections and lipo in between meals and errands. They're independent professionals with careers and businesses to run and mothers to children for whom they wish to be positive role models.
And believe it or not, it's not an easy task getting their husbands to be at their beck and call for a touch up here or a tuck there. Because jabbing a scalpel into your wife's various body parts is not as effortless and unmoving of a process as some would imagine.
"I had better luck when I was just his girlfriend!" admits Veronica.
Given the obvious perks of being married to a plastic surgeon, there are also some disadvantages. For one, it's very likely your husband has seen all your friends naked. And whoever is not your friend would really like to be.
"No one gives a crap who I interview or talk to when they have a question about plastic surgery," laughs Dayna, of Extra.
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If you think the goal of the show is to make women feel physically inferior by putting perfectly sculpted bodies and faces on display, you're wrong (sort of). These women are more candid and self-deprecating than Louis C.K. is about his aging penis. Their aim truly is "to empower women to own their body, inside and out," as Frances insists.
We can't imagine why, but they still work out and eat healthy. "In reality, for every hour we've spent in surgery, we probably do more on the treadmill and barbell," says Dayna.
Which is actually good news for the rest of us who need to rely on the poor man's plastic surgery, also known as diet and exercise.