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Worldly Wiles

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Letting off some steam after the 100m breaststroke.
  • Letting off some steam after the 100m breaststroke.

In case some of you weren't aware, there's some sort of sporting event going on in London and word on the worldwide street is that it's a pretty big deal.

It's that time every four years when some of the fittest and most talented men and women in the world congregate in one city to compete for gold and glory. I don't know about you, but I get so invested in the Olympics that my nearest and dearest fear for my sanity. When the U.S. ladies gymnastics team blasted the competition out of the water (not literally, that would be diving), it took all of my self-restraint not to shed a tear of pride. And I'm not even American.

And Olympic athletes are a pretty attractive bunch. It is physically impossible to train that many hours and not have a completely banging body, and the male swim teams and ladies volleyball groups are particularly easy on the eyes. This leads to the inevitable assumption that the Olympic Athletes Village must be rife with hook ups and casual flings. It turns out this is probably true. Imagine that!

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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

What are YOU thinking about?
  • What are YOU thinking about?

A recent study conducted at the University of Granada (random?) asked 2,250 Spanish hetero men and women about their sexual fantasies and found that, regardless of "Fifty Shades" obsession, women's intimate desires included more than their fair share of domination scenarios.

And guys were more than happy to imagine swapping wives, doing the hot MILF at the playground, or gathering together a group of nymphos to go at it no holds barred.

Doesn't seem to be too much of a culture shift here...ask any of your male and female friends and (especially after a margarita or three) they'll be more than happy to admit their dirty minds have room for very similar sex scenarios.

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Monday, July 23, 2012

Some guys like Grindr a lot.
  • Some guys like Grindr a lot.
Brace yourselves, dear readers of London: Grindr is crashing. And just in time for hot Olympic man meat wandering the city. Conspiracy? Probably not.

For those not in the know, Grindr is an app that instantly connects men looking (mostly) for anonymous hookups with other men. Grindr made headlines instantly upon debut in 2009. You browse local men, tap on their picture to read a profile and then decide to chat and / or share locations. Think of it as a 21st Century digital bathhouse. In layman's terms, it's a penile GPS system. A parallel service, Blendr, is for general audiences.

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Friday, July 20, 2012


The subjects' names have been changed to protect their identities. All images used are photographs taken by the couple to hint where they did their dirty deeds.

The emerging American performance artist J. Bravo and his gallerist girlfriend Phoebe took a touring sexcation* to Germany in early June. The couple planned their itinerary around a route originally created by Casanova in one of his journals. However, rather then stopping to shag in castles like the legendary lover did centuries ago, Bravo and Phoebe chose to fuck in art museums.

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Thursday, July 19, 2012

Forget the wonders of modern chemistry. You don't need to talk to your doctor about Viagra or Cialis. All you need is a traditional fungus used both as an aphrodisiac and a performance-enhancing drug. The best part? You'll be helping out developing economies that are thriving on a thirst for the fungus, known as kira jari.

The fungus is rare and used for another purpose: A natural pesticide. It works by mummifying caterpillars, then growing the fungus out the top of their heads. Creepy? Sure, but some of us are kind of into that sort of thing.

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Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Really, the juvenile jokes write themselves on this one. That won't stop us from giggling like little boys who just heard a fart joke.

A man in England, frustrated at his partner's inability to put down the smash mommy porn hit "Fifty Shades of Grey" decided to take matters into his own hands. Raymond Hodgson, 31, covered her in a substance known as "brown sauce," which is a bit like steak sauce, except more Orwellian and terrifying.

Apparently he didn't approve of it because he considered the book to be porn. This guy must live somewhere without Cinemax. In what is one of the most ploddingly ironic turns in the history of news, Hodgson covered his partners body from head to toe with brown sauce. He squirted it all over her body, caking it in her hair and even getting a little on the walls.

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Thursday, July 5, 2012

A Berlin-based latex designer has teamed with German lifestyle magazine TUSH to create a particularly kinky Barbie wardrobe to raise money for a "Design With Barbie" charity project.

This isn't the same project that everyone's favorite grammatically incorrect -- but anatomically endowed -- rap-popstress Nicki Minaj hooked up with in December, but it doesn't really matter because obviously latex kinky-time Barbie is the clear winner of this beauty contest.

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Monday, June 18, 2012

Monday, June 18, 2012

Worldly Wiles

Elderly Man Calls Fire Dept. to Cut Off Stuck Cock Ring

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Mon, Jun 18, 2012 at 4:00 PM

Like this, but larger, (although obviously not large enough).
  • Like this, but larger, (although obviously not large enough).
In what sounds like the premise for an unwatchable porno, an elderly British man spent 36 hours stuck in a cock ring last week.

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Friday, June 8, 2012


It was a headline that read more like a refrigerator magnet poem than news to believe.

"Donkey Rape Spurs Tribal Massacre in Yemen"

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Monday, June 4, 2012

I don't recall St. Valentine looking like this.
  • I don't recall St. Valentine looking like this.

It's Valentine's Day in Brazil, and you know what that means:

Love and big butts. Armed robbery.

Wait, what?

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