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True Story

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

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What do you think of when you hear the word "tantra"? The first thing that comes to mind is Sting and his legendary sexual prowess. I've heard stories about Sting being able to have a seven-hour orgasm, something along the lines of, "Yeah, his wife is cool with his having sex with other women. He's so good at it, she wants him to share himself with other women." Or so the conversation went among my guy friends and me.

Truth is, I've been intrigued by tantra for years. I wanted to know exactly how a seven-hour orgasm worked. I wanted to know how to take a woman to the moon and back so that she'd be so proud she'd want other women to experience my skills. Maybe, just maybe, I could be Sting-lite.

Recently, I got my shot. I went to a weekend workshop created by a woman named Charu Morgan. Her website said there would be no nudity or sexual contact which, on one had, was a relief and on the other, a giant bummer.

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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

True Story

Awkward Stories of Condom Shopping: the Good, the Big & the Embarrassing

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Tue, Jul 31, 2012 at 10:10 AM

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The only thing constant in life is that buying condoms is always an awkward experience. In the beginning of one's sexual adolescence it starts out as a downright embarrassing process and only becomes less so with age. Maybe it's because we often don't even call them by their real names, instead only referring to them as ones, or thingies, or supplies.

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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

True Story

Man w/ World's Biggest Penis Stopped & Frisked by TSA

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Wed, Jul 18, 2012 at 4:01 PM

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Having the world's largest cock isn't all it's cracked up to be. You're probably not getting a lot of blowjobs. Curious about anal sex? You'd better be on the receiving end, because no woman is taking that monster. But the worst part is the embarrassment and harassment you experience when going through a TSA checkpoint.

When they ask what you've got in your pants, "Oh sorry, officer, that's just my dick," isn't what they want to hear, honesty notwithstanding.

Jonah Falcon is a 41-year-old man featured in several documentaries for having one of the world's largest Johnsons. How big is it, you ask? About 9 1/2 inches when limp as cooked spaghetti and 13 1/2 inches long when at full attention.

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Thursday, July 12, 2012

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Porn Problems

NBA Attempts to Thwart Porn Stars' Blowjob Offer to Miami Heat Fans

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Thu, Jul 12, 2012 at 5:21 PM

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Apparently being a fan of the NBA champion Miami Heat is almost as good as playing for the team. Upon defeating the Oklahoma City Thunder in five games, two porn stars made a bet on Twitter with the stipulation they'd give oral sex to Heat fans if their team won the title.

In order to fulfill their promises, the duo, better known as Sara Jay and Angelina Castro, formed a website, TeamBJNBA, for fans to cash in on their "winnings." They set up the rules of their free giveaway because, you know, if they were actually paid for their services that would be both wrong and illegal. But who are we to judge?

Needless to say, this got the duo in a bit of hot water with the ultra-PC NBA. Not wanting to see their carefully crafted image destroyed, the league moved to stop the giveaway.

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Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Strange Sex

Man Assaults GF w/ Steak Sauce Because She Read 'Fifty Shades of Grey'

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Wed, Jul 11, 2012 at 12:00 PM

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Really, the juvenile jokes write themselves on this one. That won't stop us from giggling like little boys who just heard a fart joke.

A man in England, frustrated at his partner's inability to put down the smash mommy porn hit "Fifty Shades of Grey" decided to take matters into his own hands. Raymond Hodgson, 31, covered her in a substance known as "brown sauce," which is a bit like steak sauce, except more Orwellian and terrifying.

Apparently he didn't approve of it because he considered the book to be porn. This guy must live somewhere without Cinemax. In what is one of the most ploddingly ironic turns in the history of news, Hodgson covered his partners body from head to toe with brown sauce. He squirted it all over her body, caking it in her hair and even getting a little on the walls.

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Monday, July 9, 2012

Monday, July 9, 2012

Sex Fetishes

Swinging: The Underground Lifestyle That Lets You F*ck Your Friends

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Mon, Jul 9, 2012 at 4:00 PM

DTF x 4
  • DTF x 4
A lot of people fantasize about having sex with a relative stranger while their significant other watches with pleased approval, perhaps while also fucking someone they too just met. Fewer people have actually played out this scenario in real life.

But not as few as you might think.

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Monday, July 2, 2012

Monday, July 2, 2012

Health & Wellness

The Truth About Broken Penises & How to Avoid the Horror

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Mon, Jul 2, 2012 at 12:00 PM

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Are you sitting down for this one? The following information may prove to be invaluable. Heed the calamitous tale of penile fractures! Bumps and bruises in bed -- dramatic and acrobatic penetration -- dick accidents can and do happen.

Oh my.

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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Pretty Talk

When Temptation Attacks: Why It's Not Worth Being the 'Other Woman'

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Tue, Jun 19, 2012 at 9:49 AM

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Fidelity is an uncomfortably large pill to swallow, whether you're in a relationship, desperately trying to make one happen, or scared shitless that one might be brewing between you and that chick you thought was simply a one night stand. It's the ultimate test of commitment and respect for yourself, your mate and your potential dance partner, one that many of us will fail -- or already have.

However, being "the other" is rarely discussed. Books, talk shows, paternity tests -- it's always about the one who cheated and the poor soul who got jilted. But what about the person who decided it'd be a good idea to get in the middle of this now strained, if not unraveling, union? What's his/her deal?

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Monday, June 18, 2012

Monday, June 18, 2012

True Story

Elderly Man Calls Fire Dept. to Cut Off Stuck Cock Ring

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Mon, Jun 18, 2012 at 4:00 PM

Like this, but larger, (although obviously not large enough).
  • Like this, but larger, (although obviously not large enough).
In what sounds like the premise for an unwatchable porno, an elderly British man spent 36 hours stuck in a cock ring last week.

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Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Legal Briefs

S.F. Man Sues BMW After Arousing Motorcycle Ride Causes 2-Year-Long Boner

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Tue, May 29, 2012 at 5:00 PM

Who'd have thought this would be so stimulating?
  • Who'd have thought this would be so stimulating?

When news emerged recently that plaintiff Henry Wolf of San Francisco was suing BMW America due to claims that his ride on one of their motorcycles in 2010 gave him an erection for almost two years after a four-hour ride, purveyors of common sense ran wild. The libertarians decried it as a case of frivolous lawsuits. Comment section wags on the news websites that so breathlessly reported on the case went double-entendre crazy. And the motorcycle enthusiasts chimed in with their considerable wisdom. "I woulda wrote a thank-you letter!" "Hell, I'd take a BMW K1300R over a Viagra anytime." "Does anybody know if the plaintiff wants to sell the seat?"

The complaint itself was fairly straight-forward in its strangeness. It also names aftermarket motorcycle seat maker Corbin-Pacific in the suit.

"Plaintiff was riding his 1993 BMW motorcycle equipped with a Corbin-Pacific seat. The ride lasted approximately two hours each way to plaintiff's destination, after which plaintiff developed a severe case of priapism (a persistent, lasting erection). Plaintiff alleges that this condition was caused by the ridge-like seat on his motorcycle, negligently designed, manufactured and/or installed by defendants.

"Plaintiff now suffers from priapism (a long lasting erection), and has been experiencing continuing problems since his motorcycle ride. He is now unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial emotional and mental anguish. Plaintiff is distraught and distressed because of this. Defendants, and each of them, are liable to plaintiff due [to] their negligent design, manufacture and/or installation of the seat on plaintiff's motorcycle."

Cue the Bob Seger song.

Sources: http://www.asphaltandrubber.com/news/bmw-motorcycle-erection-lawsuit/

http://blog.sfgate.com/stew/2012/04/30/man-sues-bmw-after-motorcycle-seat-allegedly-causes-2-year-erection/

http://www.courthousenews.com/2012/04/27/46030.htm

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