Sexy Science

Tuesday, July 24, 2012


Flies may not moan and groan during sex like humans, that you should know, but that doesn't mean that they're stone cold silent. Believe it or not, during sex, female flies make click-like sounds with their wings, attracting attention that could potentially cause their deaths by predatory bats. Researchers have found these mating moans can be heard by bats hungry for a meal.

This is bad news for the flies -- but a bonus for wild Natterer's bats who end up swallowing a double-double of copulating insects.

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Thursday, July 19, 2012

Forget the wonders of modern chemistry. You don't need to talk to your doctor about Viagra or Cialis. All you need is a traditional fungus used both as an aphrodisiac and a performance-enhancing drug. The best part? You'll be helping out developing economies that are thriving on a thirst for the fungus, known as kira jari.

The fungus is rare and used for another purpose: A natural pesticide. It works by mummifying caterpillars, then growing the fungus out the top of their heads. Creepy? Sure, but some of us are kind of into that sort of thing.

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Female sexual disfunction will be listed as an official diagnosis  in the forthcoming edition of the DSM-V.
  • Female sexual disfunction will be listed as an official diagnosis in the forthcoming edition of the DSM-V.
Many men might lament that it's not always easy to figure out what is going to turn a woman on. Increasingly, women are lamenting that they themselves don't even know.

Although the issue of a waning female libido resides in the shadows of the more talked about, and more commonly treated, issue of male impotency, the condition is a common and very real problem for women of all ages, and especially those in the hormonal flux of menopause and post-menopause.

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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Mom, how are dinosaur babies made?
  • Mom, how are dinosaur babies made?

If only the bible would have clarified the frustrating issues that have plagued paleontologists for centuries.

Have you ever considered prehistoric porn? Science is getting really close to declaring once and for all -- "Dinosaurs did it doggy style! Ermm...dino style!" It definitely wasn't missionary (missionaries weren't around yet).

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Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Seriously, dude. Your life is rough.
  • Seriously, dude. Your life is rough.
Wow. It turns out jealous lovers are present in every species, not just ours. We've all had that ex who seethed with anger any time they caught you chatting to a member of the opposite sex, and lived in constant fear that one day you'd decide to sleep with someone else. Well apparently, a species of particularly possessive spiders goes one step further, and leaves its penis in the female's genitals in order to stop other potential suitors from impregnating her. Yes, you read that correctly. No, it doesn't seem worth it.

Is it just me, or are we learning a lot recently about how insane the sex lives of animals and insects are?

As if losing your penis wasn't enough of a downer, the male nephilengys malabarensis spider then has to fight tooth and nail to protect his lady friend from the approaches of other lustful arachnids, who at this stage are all lining up to get their leg over. One of their many, many legs.

Fear not, however! Losing your spider penis comes with advantages, believe it or not. Without the weight of the spider's sexual organs hindering him as he fights his competitors, he becomes a much stronger warrior. His endurance goes up by as much as 80%, which means almost certain victory.

All of this good news is eclipsed only by the fact that 75% of nephilengys malabarensis spiders won't even make it as far as this fight, because their mate will already have eaten them. Oh.

Talk about a lack of gratitude.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Maybe it's time to stop letting your penguins read "50 Shades of Grey".
  • Maybe it's time to stop letting your penguins read "50 Shades of Grey".

After nearly 100 years, London's Natural History Museum is finally opening its doors to some classic penguin porn.

The Museum recently announced that a 97-year-old pamphlet on penguin sexual behavior that was once considered too perverse and depraved for inclusion in their archives has finally been accepted.

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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Next time you go spelunking, you can leave your Hustler Magazine at home.
  • Next time you go spelunking, you can leave your Hustler Magazine at home.
You never know what you'll find when inside a shallow French cave -- and we're not just talking about a hook-up with that bitchy foreign exchange student from Bordeaux.

A group of archaeologists have discovered what is believed to be the oldest cave drawing known to man in a collapsed rock shelter known as Abri Castanet in Cevennes National Park in Southern France. The subject matter? Pussy, of course.

The crude drawing of a circle with a line through it was found on a section of the shelter's collapsed ceiling, right on top of (wait for it) a big pile of old bones. Archaelogists have been examining Abri Castanet for years, but only recently discovered the etching when they delved into "a previously unexplored section of the cave". Let that be a lesson to all those who have given up on finding their girlfriend's G-spot.

Awwwwwww yeaaaah,... (cue porno music)
  • Awwwwwww yeaaaah,... (cue porno music)

There is some debate as to whether the drawing really depicts a vagina, or whether researchers just have booty on the brain . Dr. Harold Dibble, an archaeologist from the University of Pennsylvania who edited the findings of the researchers at Abri Castanet, says that the vulva is truly in the eye of the beholder.

"Who the hell knows," Dibble told Science Magazine. "Maybe it's telling us more about the people making those interpretations."

Using carbon dating, scientists determined that the bones near the Etch-A-Snatch were at least 37,000 years old. They claim this latest finding is even older than the drawings found in the nearby Chauvet-Pont-d'Arc in 1994. Those etchings featured female genitalia as well. The labia majora was a popular artistic subject matter for early man, indicating that the dating scene in prehistoric France was almost as depressing as spending a Friday night on OKCupid.com.

Joan Rivers has yet to comment on whether or not she posed for the 37,000 year old vagina drawing.

See a photo of the etching here

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Friday, May 11, 2012


Getting sober is no picnic. Staying sober is even less of one, and for recovering alcoholics, navigating the world of dating can add undue stress to their lives.

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Wednesday, April 25, 2012

It's in there somewhere...
  • It's in there somewhere...

A doctor has claimed to have literally discovered the G-spot following a particularly intimate autopsy of a woman's reproductive anatomy -- but researchers and sexologists alike are doubtful of his claim that the G-spot is, in fact, a sexual organ.

In an article published this week in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, Florida gynecologist Dr. Adam Ostrzenski examined the body of a deceased 83-year-old woman soon after her death (before many key distinctions and details had time to fade). The examination was done in Poland, a country with less strict regulations regarding postmortem dissection.

Ostrzenski says he found "small, grape-like clusters" of erectile tissue measuring less than a centimeter across within the vaginal wall that he believes are responsible for the extension, engorgement and ultimate vaginal orgasm that many women experience from internal stimulation.

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Women may have to start watching "Game of Thrones" like this.
  • Women may have to start watching "Game of Thrones" like this.

A new study from researchers at the University of Groningen Medical Centre in The Netherlands asserts that the part of the brain that processes visual data shuts down in women when they are shown graphic pornography.

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