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Sex Toy Time

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Treat yourself. On a budget.
  • Treat yourself. On a budget.
We love sex toys and we love fancy things, but most of us can't afford to spend top dollar on a luxury vibrator that may or may not get the job done. So we scoured the Internet and found the highest-quality mini vibes that pack major punch for a price tag that's under $30. (In no particular order.)

So for the price of dinner and a movie for one (we're rolling solo here) you can head to your local sex shop and check out these top picks. And for those of you without access to an adult store that doesn't make your skin crawl, bounce online and patronize a boutique that deserves your business -- we love The Pleasure Chest, Babeland, Coco de Mer, and Good Vibrations.

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Monday, July 2, 2012

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Fleshlight, the makers of fake rubber vaginas encased in plastic tubes, has released its first ever BBW (that's Big Beautiful Woman for you cave dwellers) version and used Asian porn star Kelly Shibari's vagina as bait.

The voluptuous porn star and fetish model has been a favorite among larger lady fans for years and these fake vagina makers have got on the BBW bandwagon by turning Shibari's lady bits them into something every man can come inside. (Ew.)

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Monday, June 4, 2012

I don't recall St. Valentine looking like this.
  • I don't recall St. Valentine looking like this.

It's Valentine's Day in Brazil, and you know what that means:

Love and big butts. Armed robbery.

Wait, what?

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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Hysteria never looked so good.
  • Hysteria never looked so good.

"Hysteria" was released in Los Angeles and NYC this weekend.

"What's 'Hysteria?'" you ask? Well it's a movie about the history of the vibrator, a film featuring real actors -- including Maggie Gyllenhaal, everyone's favorite "Secretary" -- and, surprisingly, void of the expected B.S. that would accompany a motion picture delving into a topic still too taboo for Oprah.

There are many of you out there who aren't obsessed with sex toys and the amazing sounds/fluids/emotions they evoke, and therefore probably don't give a fuck about where they came from.

But wait -- what if I told you vibrators were invented as a medical treatment for a health epidemic that once swept the nation? Interesting, right? Keep reading.

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Wednesday, May 9, 2012

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You might think that an item as whimsical as the novelty penis straw-topper couldn't possibly inspire outrage, but you would be incorrect. A preschool teacher shopping for "Dora the Explorer" balloons for her daughter's Confirmation party reportedly became upset when she spied "dancing penis" bachelorette novelties across the Quincy, Mass., store from the religious-life-milestone party favors she sought, according to The Patriot Ledger. IParty, the New England-based chain of party supply stores this woman is complaining about, defended its placement of bachelorette party novelty items in its stores, saying that the aisles displaying such fun-inducing items as crepe-paper cock table centerpieces, wind-up dancing penises and "Pin the Junk on the Hunk" party games are clearly marked "Adults Only, Please."

But the hapless bachelorette party shopper might have an even more difficult time finding all the penis-themed party accessories on her list if the Quincy city clerk has his way. Although a city employee who visited the store to check out the penises concluded that no ordinances had been violated, City Clerk Joe Shea told the Patriot Ledger that he'd like the adult items moved into a separate room, so customers - after showing they're over 18 years old - would have to request a perusal of IParty's racier merchandise.

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WCVB Channel 5 Boston posted the story on its Facebook page, which generated entertaining comments both supporting the woman and deriding her:

"I worked there for four years," one woman said. "They really are discreet about it, and

those items are huge sellers. I know the stores I worked at were very good about

watching who went down those aisles, and the shelves are blocked and marked 'adult only.'"

And: "Well, I was in Iparty recently to buy some dancing penises, and I was offended by

all of the religious items in the Confirmation/First Communion aisle."

Last, but not least: "Out of place and disgusting and I'm no prude [sic]."

I wanted to see these novelty dancing penises for myself so I skipped on over to

iparty.com, but my visit proved penisless. The site only invited me to join its Birthday

Club, check out its Red Sox fan section and peruse Halloween costumes hella early. So I

can't say how big and offensive the dancing penises in Quincy's IParty might have been,

but regardless, the store didn't break any laws so the issue will likely be forgotten in a

week or two. Except that lady will probably shop elsewhere. Or maybe just until her next

party.

Speaking of that lady and her balloons: I made my Confirmation in 10th grade, so if Mom

was shopping for "Dora the Explorer" balloons for a 15 year old's party, either the paper

reported some inaccuracies, or there's some mad infantilizing up in that household.

Follow @Virginia Pelley and @AfterDarkLA on Twitter.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

"It's like I can feel you..."
  • "It's like I can feel you..."

The strong and talented Mark Wahlberg, once known as the shirtless and muscular Marky Mark, was photographed running out of a Miami sex shop holding a fake fuckable vagina and extra-large set of anal beads.

SCORE.

Odds are he had some greater movie-related purpose for the purchase, but I prefer to assume that Wahlberg -- whom I'll refer to simply as Marky -- took a break from filming "Pain and Gain" with fellow meat head The Rock to pick up the rubber inflatable redhead and oversize bulbous butt plug for a cozy night in.

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Friday, March 23, 2012

Praise the lord. He has risen.
  • Praise the lord. He has risen.

This should give a new meaning to the term "passion play."

Marc Angenent, a Dutch priest turned sex therapist, has started an online store for Christians who want to shop for sex toys, but don't want to be inundated with pornographic images and crude language.

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