Currently dominating charts, Flo Rida's "Whistle" recycles the wholesome Disney chorus "whistle while you work" as a blowjob instructional. Like many before him, Flo Rida enjoys receiving oral sex, and like almost as many, he has turned the practice into a popular song. Over the years, tracks discussing the "beej" have been performed in every era of pop. Chuck Berry was singing about his dick all the way back in 1972, and, while it's only gotten more misogynist from there, there's no denying that bjs are a huge and, dare we say, important part of popular music history. And so without further ado behold our brief, incomplete history of blowjobs in music.
There are times you and the lucky person sharing your bed want to stare into each other's eyes and breathe "I love yous" -- and then there are times you want your face pressed into a pillow and your partner's eyes on your ass. For the latter instances, the last thing we want to hear is something sweet and gentle like one of the songs on our "making love" playlist.
Here, then, are five songs better suited to those nights you've turned your bedroom (or kitchen, or car, or ...) into a sauna. Grab a towel.
We dug around, then, and found five songs for you to spin next time you're in between the sheets. Because we're feeling more romantic than raunchy, we chose stuff to play when the mood is sweet rather than wild -- but we'll take care of your inner freak next week.
Time to break out that sample size hotel lotion in your desk drawer and peep through these titillating album covers. In honor of last month's #RSD12, here are some horn dog examples of why you should pony down to your local indie music store and buy some vinyl. Or you can stay indoors -- on the internet, diddling.
Having trouble achieving that hard-on? Need help lubricating your flower? Well, these songs can help! If you're into music as foreplay, here are some suggestions to add to your iTunes library. Chase strange, do the nasty, and don't forget to pay for your music!
Congratulations! You got your conquest to your bedroom! He or she is practically a done deal. All you need to do is pour a glass of wine/ whisky/ redbull and vodka and get them there clothes off!
Oh, and set the mood. You have to pick the perfect music to bone to.
Sure you can hit that Barry White CD. Or Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love" will probably get you a whole lotta ass.
But just in case you're wonderin'...
Here are 5 songs that will for sure debone any dick and dry up any vag. Consider yourself warned: