The search for that new thing, the "all-natural" pill or seven-day hands-on intensive that'll make sex better and happen more often never quite ends. And while all that stuff might work (placebo effect or not) they're not the most affordable way to boost your libido and set your curious mind at momentary ease.
And that's why many of us turn to aphrodisiacs, foods that naturally occur in our cabinets and refrigerators and, when eaten at opportune times, can put a little tingle in our step. But what happens when oysters (acquired taste) and chocolate (calories) get old and we just want to eat fast food before we bone?
While some dudes love it when women wear some of the kinkiest garb out there (think: lingerie, collars and corsets) others are just as turned on by simple and easy articles of clothing. What she might call casual, he might deem sexy as hell, and we're here to clue you ladies in.
Get ready to rock his socks! (Literally!)
Perhaps you've noticed, it's really hot outside. Like, this fucking hot.
Temperatures are creeping into to the low hundreds throughout the United States with swampy bouts of humidity in all the places where that kind of shit happens. And while most civilized Americans are currently hunkered inside of their shaded, air-conditioned homes and offices, scurrying between temperature controlled environs like nervous mice and waiting to venture outdoors until after sundown, the rest of us poor savages are lying on the floors of our apartments in our underwear, (not even the nice ones), sitting in front of low-output fans, intermittently taking cold showers and sweating our collective balls off. It's gross and uncomfortable and clearly too toasty for intimate contact with another human being, lest both parties end up nearing a sex-induced heatstroke and scrambling for electrolytes.
With the national forecast proclaiming that "warm weather will continue to be the biggest story through the end of the work week," the maintenance of your sex life demands cool locales at which to get it on. We suggest:
The Internet says that today is National No Bra Day, which makes total sense because last week was Independence Day and the following was devoted to the art of face sucking. July's holidays are prioritized, obvi.
And while the holiday's official Facebook page (which makes it a zillion percent legit) reads as though this day is in honor of unleashing breasts from oppressive lace, underwires and clasps, it's hard to believe that the idea was developed with Girl Power in mind.
Sidenote: 259,668 "attended" today on Facebook. I was not invited.
Getting sober is no picnic. Staying sober is even less of one, and for recovering alcoholics, navigating the world of dating can add undue stress to their lives.
But a friend of mine had a more charitable take on it, saying, "I've said that to guys I'm blowing. That shit gets tedious." And she's right, it can get tedious. But personally, I consider asking for orgasm ETAs something you shouldn't actually say out loud. Whether such inquiries would anger or annoy you might depend on how sensitive you are, but there are other things said in the sack that aren't so open to debate in terms of appropriateness. And in terms of super-creepiness. I probed colleagues about the worst, most bonerkilling things they'd ever heard in bed. Here are some of our favorites from an informal poll:
By age 22, music author/journalist Ethlie Ann Vare had slept with no less than 75 men, and she had already stopped counting. It was not the sex that meant anything to her; it was the feelings of love and desire, and of being loved and desired in return.
In the early-1980s, Vare was a writer at Billboard magazine working under rock editor Roman Kozak. She attended virtually every concert in town and met countless famous musicians.
She felt like the rock stars she covered and partied with would not be able to fill that void.
"It took me a really long time to understand that just because a man wants you doesn't mean he loves you," she admits. "As I learned over the years, men will fuck sheep. It really isn't an emotional connection for them, especially rock stars, but it was for me."
Having been together since 1988, my wife and I have pretty well run the sexual cycle; from hot, youth driven four-times-a-day beginnings in our early 20's, to flat, work stressed periods, pre- and post-childbirth and everything in-between.
We've visited swing clubs (as voyeurs), played with every sex toy imaginable, watched porn, done it in public, had sex while driving, experimented with tantra, and covered literally every inch of our living space in every position possible. So, after 24 years or marriage and counting, what ground is there left to cover?
And as an precautionary/inspirational bonus, our generous guide Nina Hartley shares a few personal anecdotes from her decades worth of three-way experiences. (The messy and the awesome).
Here, sex expert Nina Hartley shares her sage advice on what to do after you've found two people willing to sleep with you at the same time.