Loading...
Afterdark

Looking Sexy For Your High School Reunion

Comments (0)

By

Wed, Nov 21, 2012 at 5:15 PM
click to enlarge high_school_outside.jpg

It's Thanksgiving weekend, and that means that many of us will be attending our fifth, tenth, fifteenth, and so forth (ahem) high school reunions. While there, we'll no doubt run into people to whom we still have something to prove, which means that it's time to bust out the sexy (or the husband and babies, depending on what road you want to go down) and show them what they've been missing all these years.

If you decide to go the sexy route, here are some helpful hints:

If you're a dude, buy some new pants

It might seem trite, but pants say a lot about a man. Obviously (OBVIOUSLY) you wouldn't show up in something like...pleated...or anything...but that doesn't mean you should bust out the same pair of GAP denims that you've been wearing to work every single day for the past five years and think that you've got your bases covered. Gentlemen, if you make enough to afford your rent, you make enough to spring for the dungarees that make it look like you have an ass. This also increases your chances of getting laid by about 150%.

Get the girls out

Whether you've gotten a boob job since high school or your breasts have remained relatively the same, now is the time to go invest in a new bra, bust out that deep V and get the girls out on display. This is a particularly good idea if you were kind of mousy in high school; you obviously want to be that lady who everyone's all, "oh wow, she really blossomed in her 20s/30s/40s." You want to be that girl that makes everyone who peaked in high school feel ashamed.

Exercise every day for the week leading up to the event

OK, I know. You don't want to do this. But this isn't so much about getting your abs in super-duper last minute shape as it is about making yourself think that you have abs that are in decent shape. See what I mean? It's a mind game you're playing with yourself, and you're just going to have to trust me that it will work. I don't care if you don't exercise another day in your life before or after this; hitting the gym hard will give you the swag that you're looking for on your special night.

Get a haircut, for God's sake

Honestly, your hair looks like a rat's nest. How long has it been since you've done anything to that disaster? Get a trim. Get a cut. Get some freshy fresh color if you want. Just don't show up with a head full of split ends, or a hairy neck, or a mane that looks like it hasn't seen a pair of scissors since the first time that Obama trounced a Republican in an election year (oooh snap).

Related Content

Los Angeles Concert Tickets