Can you be Asian and score with any white chick you want? How's that for a politically incorrect question? What, are we implying that some white women are down on Asian guys just because of the way they look?
Yeah, you would have to be pretty dumb to not see that we live in a culture of superficiality and appearances. However, successful men are of the philosophy that looks only matter to a point. Heart, soul, intelligence and confidence are far more important than race in the long run.
Yes, that means you have the potential to score with any white woman you want. It's not just a dream or hyperbole to sell a book.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Or attract web traffic! ;-)]
The first step in starting your successful bid for the buxom blonde babe of your dreams is to first come to terms with yourself. You will never meet a pretty woman if you cannot allow yourself the chance to succeed. Put away all of your negative thoughts and dismiss your shy instincts.
Use Eastern meditation if you have to! Focus on positive chi and fill your chest with confidence, enough to make it protrude as you walk. You believe in yourself. You know you are a good man and a good lover. Any white woman who crosses your path should consider herself lucky!
The next step is to focus on breaking down the barriers that exist between Asian men and white women. You can't deny that they exist. Some women may even believe they are not “attracted” to Asian men.
Take any initial claims of non-attraction with a grain of salt. Most of the time, women don't know what they're attracted to. These women are waiting for a man to stimulate their passions in ways they've never known before! Of course they're not going to be attracted to you until they know what you're capable of doing.
Think of gut-level attraction as simple as ABC.
A: A is for Attitude, Attraction and Approach. Be confident in your approach. Do not fear the attraction forming between the two of you. Approach a woman you like quickly and with courage.
B: B is for Being in the moment, Bantering and Buying temperature. Have fun with conversation. Don't be so smart or respectful that you're afraid to flirt, laugh and enjoy some healthy sexual tension. The more you flirt, the more you are slowly “buying the temperature” of arousal.
C: C is for Compliance, Comfort and Connection. Once you feel an attraction to each other, it's time to make her become invested in you, following your lead and to make her physically comfortable in your presence.
This is just the basic ABCs of attraction. The complete lesson of attraction is not hard to learn, and once you learn it, it will result in a shower of hot girls throwing themselves at you.
You can be Asian and score with any white chick you want…just be careful what you wish for!
Image: Daniel St.Pierre.
A word to all the women out there who fake their way through one-nighters and short-term hook-ups. (And if you're still doing it after your wedding night, you'd better find something to fill the hole/void.)
Please stop pretending to have raging orgasms. You're not doing anyone a favor and here's why:
1. You're never going to get what you want in bed until you let him know what you like and what you don't.
2. Each time you scream and moan you're making him think that's how ALL women cum. He'll be a sexual dunce for the rest of his bedroom career, or until he meets a chick with enough balls to set things straight.
3. When you coo with delight each time he sorta kinda touches what he thinks is your G-spot, you're teaching him that THAT is a “hot spot” on a chick. That sucks for every other girl he fucks after you.
4. Sure you skirted the issue for one night. But what happens when you realize you kinda like the guy, but he has no idea how to get you off and it's your fault? You have to either clue him into your former charade, or convince yourself that the sex isn't THAT important. You've been lying to him, so why not also lie to yourself?
There are very few fake things in the world that are for the greater good — false eyelashes, tofu hot dogs, cubic zirconia — and the only time you'll find “fake orgasms” on that list is if you're on a game show and the most obnoxious orgasm noise wins you a Toyota Yaris and complimentary wine tasting at Williams-Sonoma.
I've never faked it. That doesn't mean I've never encountered awkwardness or an insecure guy who felt like a failure — but the key isn't to lie there waiting for him to get tired and give up.
You gotta give a little direction (as he should for you, too) because that's the only way to know how to do it right. No one, no matter how suave/sexy/skilled, knows exactly how to get you off because everyone is different, and if you start the session with unfair expectations, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
Use your words.
OK so you get the lucky girl to agree to a date, but the next issue to tackle is where this date will take place.
The last place to which you want to invite her is a stuffy or posh restaurant. Imagine sitting opposite her with 10 different table items in your way, candles, flowers, glasses bottles etc. – and of course an over-attentive waiter butting in every 10 seconds asking if you want your glass refilled.
If you want to take her on a night-time date, then the best venues to choose are the busy noisy places. A lot of guys think that this will cause a problem, making it hard to hear each other. But I say use this as your advantage!
Instead of sitting opposite each other as you would in a formal restaurant, you can instead use the crowding and high volume as a great excuse to sit side by side, which is far more intimate and close. The venue's high-energy vibe will keep those awkward or uncomfortable silences to a minimum.
If you decide to take her on a date during the day, try meeting up around noon, take her for a coffee and then suggest going for a walk (pick a nice area). By the time you have walked and chatted and gotten to know each other, you'll both likely feel hungry which will lead to a spontaneous lunch smoothly.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Girls LOVE spontaneity.]
It is also a good idea to go somewhere that you are familiar with, a place where you might bump into people you know. This will give the impression that you're cool, popular and in demand – women tend to be watchful of this, and always find it an attractive quality.
If you don't know of any particularly cool places to go to, try picking a venue that has a particular theme. This can be used as a focal point in the early stages of the conversation (which usually is the most difficult part) – but whatever the venue, make sure it's not quiet or too formal....
...or too expensive! Never take a girl to an over-priced restaurant even if you have the money! This is a good way to suss out the gold diggers or the girls looking to find a guy just to take her out to nice places. (There are loads of girls like this.)
[EDITOR'S NOTE: And for the gals who aren't out for a fat wallet, being taken out to an expensive meal on the first date might leave an awkward impression that there might be expectations later – regardless of whether or not you feel that way. Keeping a nice balance will make both parties more comfortable, which in turn will lead to a more successful first date.]
Picking a reasonably priced venue for a first date also will prevent you from feeling you've burnt a hole in your wallet!
Splitting the check is more common nowadays, sure, but on a first date most women still equate being taken out with good manners and chivalry – and some women find splitting the check on the first day/night out to be rude and unattractive.
I remember the first time I went to a strip club. I lived in a small mid-western college town that was scandalized when a semi-nude bar opened up in a seedy, industrial side of town.
The first time I went it was a thrill, much like the first time you see an R-rated movie. Going to a place where there are real live nude, or semi-nude women, is every young man's fantasy.
Like any adult indulgence, you have to be careful about overdosing on the strip club experience. If you dive straight in, it's easy to get addicted to the sensory pleasure and find yourself going broke.
In my early strip clubs days, I tried to avoid going just after I got paid because I knew I would blow all my money. One of the most dangerous things to happen to the strip club circuit (and to our wallets) is the ATM, which allows the customers to easily drain their bank accounts as they go from lap dance to lap dance.
The smart strip club patron goes in with a set amount of money, and leaves his bank card in the car.
I've spent a lot of time in strip clubs over the years. When you're single and lonely, and don't fancy hitting the club scene, the local nudie bar can seem like an attractive option.
I spent so much time in strip clubs that I began to get very familiar with how they operate, and much like the old saying about sausage, you really don't want to see how it's made.
The first thing that struck me when I got to know some strippers is how they were masters of illusion. When these girls get on stage they turned into sex goddesses, but if you see them at the grocery store in regular clothes, they look like the average girl next door.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: When you're lucky…]
While travelling around the country I realized that there are distinct differences between strip clubs in different regions. I was told from many brothers that the titty bars of Atlanta had to be seen to be believed. After visiting one, I can only describe them as a black man's heaven. Imagine a bunch of big-assed, half-naked women clamoring for your attention.
But over the years, the thrill of the strip club has worn out. I have learned to see through the forced sexuality of the dancers. Of course they act like sex kittens because they are trying to extract money from your pocket. But it is all a giant cock tease. At the end of the day you go home with empty pockets and full balls, and the dancers go home with g-strings full of 20s.
Now I find the whole experience to be juvenile, much like attending a college frat party.
But I've found that if you are looking for an exciting sexual experience, there are other places where you can get more bang for your buck – pun intended!)
And if you browse the Internet you can find plenty of sexually adventurous women who are willing to explore your fantasies for the sheer fun of it.
And you won't need a fist full of dollar bills.
For whatever reason(s), we've found ourselves in a mild funk, intimacy-wise. Since starting our year off with a literal bang, the sexual heat has dissipated slightly, with frequency dropping from our stable average of three-to-four times weekly to once or twice.
Though precipitous, what worried us was not the number, but our casual attitude toward letting things slip to a 10-year low. Now beyond a mere blip, we seem to have firmly established a pattern that neither of us finds troublesome – which is troublesome. In fact, we've hardly given sex a second thought, what with work, “Glee,” “Modern Family,” and other non-passionate distractions occupying the majority of our time these days.
Ironic considering we run an adult business, no?
Never missing an opportunity to grow sexually, however, we've finally decided to reclaim our sexual mojo by exploring an area to which we've yet to fully commit – BDSM. For those of you uninitiated, this acronym stands for Bondage, Domination, Sado Masochism, in other words whips, chains, ball gags, leather, latex and giving in to your partner's demands.
Sure, we've experimented lightly with some soft BDSM play, such as restraining one another with cuffs and rope, and/or mildly striking the fleshier parts of each other's bodies with crops or whips; but really assuming the roles of dom and sub? Not even close.
Give us sex toys, positions, tantra and screaming orgasms; to our minds, though, BDSM is a much deeper and scarier world, entirely.
And if fear of black leather and pain thresholds isn't enough, there's the tricky process of simply starting out. Which one of us, for example, will assume the dominant role and is the other comfortable in the submissive casting? How far are we willing to go in these new positions of power/submission? Do we switch as a matter of course?
We've read books that assure us of the safety and rewards of BDSM, but is our trust in our relationship solid enough to push the boundaries in this direction?
The answers to these questions obviously depend on the individual participants, but we decided to start things off in the simplest way we could by turning our normal routine upside down. This is to say that for the last 22 years, most of our sexual encounters have been initiated from the male side of our coupling (for no other reason than it just happened to fall that way naturally).
For the foreseeable future, we decided, ALL sexual situations would spring from our female half, meaning foreplay through full-blown intercourse would be in the exclusive control of the feminine side. Our agreement was (and is currently) that sexual initiation of any kind can only be started in this manner, period. If this meant going days, weeks, or months without intimacy, then so be it.
Of course, we laughed about the risk nothing would happen, and for the first few days that was exactly how things went. After a week, however, the female libido kicked in with a vengeance and sex returned, albeit awkwardly – then accelerated to a brisk pace approaching pre-doldrum levels.
And that's where we currently stand. Sex has been injected with a healthy dose of excitement again and we're once again motivated to learn and expand in this intriguing area. Slowly, we plan to take things further, adding implements of destruction as our comfort levels increase, outfits to match our journey, and sojourns to BDSM oriented events as well.
Will pleasure be found in pain?
Looking for something amazing to do over the Memorial Day weekend? Come party with US at Lightning in a Bottle! Our friends at the DoLab are presenting three full days of dancing, art, education, environmental awareness and incredible people in Irvine's Oak Canyon Ranch. We will be volunteering during the day and partying from late afternoon ‘til the sun rises each morning.
Tickets are available for all three days, or limited day entries on a first come, first served basis.
For more information, please visit the Lightning In A Bottle website and come hang with us – it's kid-friendly, too!
What's a fool-proof way to get you in the mood?
The full-proof way to get me in the mood? Feed me good food, some nice wine and make me laugh!
That's all it takes for me. My friends all crack the big joke that I am "just a regular girl."
No one would believe that right!?! ;-)
“I've got a boyfriend.”
When a guy hears those words, he usually responds by showing sudden lack of interest, or he attempts to put down the boyfriend in question.
Neither of these responses work!
Never believe for a second that hearing those words means you can't sleep with her that very same night.
Women often say they are seeing someone in order to prevent the guy from hitting on her at bay. They even use the comment to test his intentions.
Some women are in fact “kind of” seeing somebody, but may describe the situation as something more than it actually is. And then there are the women who genuinely are in a solid relationship. But even they aren't necessarily off limits.
How you deal with the moment she says she has a boyfriend is crucial.
Simply look at her with a slightly puzzled expression on your face.
Try, “That's nice. Anyway, as I was saying...”
This will make her feel foolish for telling you, assuming you were hitting on her. You're showing her you have zero interest whether she has a boyfriend or not.
The other way to play this is to show an interest in her boyfriend, and NOT their relationship. Ask what he does, what he likes to do for fun, etc. Never respond negatively, always say he sounds like a really sweet guy.
Note the fact that I said “sweet” not “cool.”
Sweet, nice, lovely, cute. All of these are non-sexual descriptions. Eventually this so-called boyfriend is going to seem dull and safe and not exciting at all.
If you are planning on getting this girl back to your bed the same evening, then YOU MUST NEVER try to compete with the boyfriend. What he has to offer and what you have to offer are two entirely different things.
He offers stability and you offer risk.
If a girl shows last-minute resistance while she's giving you her phone number – “Well, I don't think my boyfriend would like this,” then respond to her as such:
“You're right, it would be so naughty to do something like that, especially since he sounds like such a sweetheart. Let's just Facebook each other, that way he wont get paranoid.”
This might not be as ideal as getting her number, but realistically how else can you respond? Most guys say that they just want a phone number to be friends, or they target the boyfriend by saying he sounds like a control freak.
None of these tactics will work. REMEMBER if she has a “sort of” boyfriend and splits up with him, then she will be far more drawn to you. She will remember that you showed no intention to go behind her boyfriend's back, and in fact you were the one who suggested carrying on the relationship via Facebook/MySpace – neutral territory.
Also, the last thing she wants is to get into another safe but essentially dull relationship. Instead she will want to go to a man who provides risk and excitement – which can be YOU.
What actress would you most like to play in an adult film?
I have played Tina Fey in a "30 Rock" parody by New Sensations, and I have also starred in "Teachers" by Digital Playground, which was a spoof of Tina Fey's "Mean Girls."
I've even played Sarah Pailin in the Hustler series, so as you can see Tina Fey is the one mainstream actress, producer, writer and sheer genius I most like to play.
She is amazing, intelligent, funny and is also from my home state of Pennsylvania.
Have you ever dyed your pubic hair?
It seems like such a hassle...but it'd be fun to have a pink bush!
Personally, I haven't done it, but they do make pubic hair dye in all kinds of colors.
BettyBeauty.com is a popular supplier and I've seen it for sale in a few Adam and Eve retail stores.
It may be a hassle, but definitely worth the bragging rights.
Growing up, I convinced my friends – and, in turn, myself – that Donnie Wahlberg of The New Kids on the Block had written a special song for me on the Step By Step album.
Track 6. (Yeah, I had lots of friends.)
You could say I was an uber-fan of the band's “bad boy,” with his acid-washed denim hats and “I ain't even scared of it” attitude.
And yes, I looked for any and every way to feel “close” to my love:
• Posters above my bed
• Buttons and pins on my suspenders
• Rewinding and repeating “Step By Step” until the tape demagnetized and the lovely song disappeared from the cassette
• Having sex with his poster
It seems an uber-fan of a more established – and less bad-ass – boy wonder thought the latter would be a stellar way to take their relationship to the next level.
Some British woman made her way into the hospital last week with a very specific vaginal ailment. It seems she'd lodged a rolled-up poster featuring Donny Osmond's smiling mug in her vag and – duh – couldn't get it out.
She cited “pain in her private area” and apparently a series of medical tests – including but not limited to shining a flashlight on her cooch and looking – revealed the 70s-era poster erect and raring to go.
Everyone knows there's gotta be some kind of exit strategy accompanying a home-made sex toy experiment, especially when involving something as precious as an Osmond.
Poor girl must've been an amateur. You can't fuck a poster without lube, and lube will simply ruin the pleasurable image. Next time (and we all know there will be one) reserve the poster for viewing pleasure and use something less, oh I dunno…PAPER to stick up your vag.
You'll wish you'd listened to me years later when you're selling that poster on eBay and trying to find a way to explain the stains to the highest bidder.