In addition to this column, Rob Brezsny offers EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES designed to inspire you.
To buy access, go here. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.
Revised and expanded 2009 edition of Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings
by Rob Brezsny
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): "I'm still learning," said Michelangelo when he was 87 years old. For now, he's your patron saint. With his unflagging curiosity as your inspiration, maybe your hunger for new teachings will bloom. You will register the fact that you don't already know everything there is to know you have not yet acquired all the skills you were born to master you're still in the early stages of exploring whole swaths of experience that will be important to you as you become the person you want to be. Even if you're not enrolled in a formal school, it's time to take your education to the next level.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Nobel Prize-winning physicist Richard Feynman admitted that physicists can't really define "energy," let alone understand it. "We have no knowledge of what energy is," he said. "We do not have a picture that energy comes in little blobs of a definite amount." While it's unlikely that in the coming weeks you Tauruses will advance the scientific understanding of energy, you will almost certainly boost your natural grasp of what energy feels like both inside and outside of your body. You will develop a more intuitive knack for how it ebbs and flows. You will discover useful tips about how to make it work for you rather than against you. You're already a pretty smart animal, but soon you'll get even smarter.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Giant Sequoias are the biggest trees on the planet. Many are more than 300 feet tall and 30 feet wide. Their longevity is legendary, too. They can live for 2,000 years. And yet their seeds are tiny. If you had a bag of 91,000 seeds, it would weigh one pound. I suspect there's currently a resemblance between you and the Giant Sequoia, Gemini. You're close to acquiring a small kernel that has the potential to grow into a strong and enduring creation. Do you know what I'm talking about? Identify it. Start nurturing it.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don't take yourself too seriously. The more willing you are to make fun of your problems, the greater the likelihood is that you will actually solve them. If you're blithe and breezy and buoyant, you will be less of a magnet for suffering. To this end, say the following affirmations out loud. 1. "I'm willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them." 2. "I'm sorry, but I'm not apologizing any more." 3. "Suffering makes you deep. Travel makes you broad. I'd rather travel." 4. "My commitment is to truth, not consistency." 5. "The hell with enlightenment, I want to have a tantrum." 6. "I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now."
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Would you buy a stuffed bunny or a baby blanket that was handcrafted by a prisoner on death row? Would you go to a cafe and eat a sandwich that was made by an employee who was screaming angrily at another employee while he made your food? Would you wear a shirt that was sewn by a ten-year-old Bangladeshi girl who works 12 hours every day with a machine that could cut off her fingers if she makes one wrong move? Questions like these will be good for you to ask yourself, Leo. It's important for you to evaluate the origins of all the things you welcome into your life — and to make sure they are in alignment with your highest values and supportive of your well-being.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Having good posture tends to make you look alert and vigorous. More than that, it lowers stress levels in your tissues and facilitates the circulation of your bodily fluids. You can breathe better, too. In the coming weeks, I urge you to give yourself this blessing: the gift of good posture. I encourage you to bestow a host of other favors, too. Specialize in treating yourself with extra sweetness and compassion. Explore different ways to get excited, awaken your sense of wonder, and be in love with your life. If anyone calls you a self-involved narcissist, tell them you're just doing what your astrologer prescribed.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The German word Fernweh can be translated as "wanderlust." Its literal meaning is "farsickness," or "an ache for the distance." Another German word, Wandertrieb, may be rendered as "migratory instinct" or "passion to travel." I suspect urges like these may be welling up in you right now. You could use a break from your familiar pleasures and the comforts you've been taking for granted. Moreover, you would attract an unexpected healing into your life by rambling off into the unknown.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): We call it "longing," says poet Robert Haas, "because desire is full of endless distances." In other words, you and the object of your yearning may be worlds apart even though you are right next to each other. For that matter, there may be a vast expanse between you and a person you consider an intimate ally; your secret life and his or her secret life might be mysteries to each other. That's the bad news, Scorpio. The good news is that you're in a phase when you have extraordinary power to shrink the distances. Get closer! Call on your ingenuity and courage to do so.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Are you ready to go deeper, Sagittarius? In fact, would you be willing to go deeper and deeper and deeper? I foresee the possibility that you might benefit from diving in over your head. I suspect that the fear you feel as you dare to descend will be an acceptable trade-off for the educational thrills you will experience once you're way down below. The darkness you encounter will be fertile, not evil. It will energize you, not deplete you. And if you're worried that such a foray might feel claustrophobic, hear my prediction: In the long run it will enhance your freedom.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the course of his 91 years on the planet, artist Pablo Picasso lived in many different houses, some of them rentals. When inspired by the sudden eruption of creative urges, he had no inhibitions about drawing and doodling on the white walls of those temporary dwellings. On one occasion, his landlord got upset. He ordered Picasso to pay him a penalty fee so that he could have the sketches painted over. Given the fact that Picasso ultimately became the best-selling artist of all time, that landlord may have wished he'd left the squiggles intact. In every way you can imagine, Capricorn, don't be like that landlord in the coming week.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): "I was often in love with something or someone," wrote Polish poet Czesław Miłosz. "I would fall in love with a monkey made of rags. With a plywood squirrel. With a botanical atlas. With an oriole. With a ferret. With the forest one sees to the right when riding in a cart. With human beings whose names still move me." Your task, Aquarius, is to experiment with his approach to love. Make it a fun game: See how often you can feel adoration for unexpected characters and creatures. Be infatuated with curious objects with snarky Internet memes with fleeting phenomena like storms and swirling flocks of birds and candy spilled on the floor. Your mission is to supercharge your lust for life.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Scientists in Brazil discovered a huge new body of water 13,000 feet beneath the Amazon River. It's completely underground. Named the Hamza River, it moves quite slowly, and is technically more of an aquifer than a river. It's almost as long as the Amazon, and much wider. In accordance with the astrological omens, Pisces, I'm making the Hamza River your symbol of the week. Use it to inspire you as you uncover hidden resources. Meditate on the possibility that you have within you a secret reservoir of vitality that lies beneath your well-known sources. See if you can tap into deep feelings that are so deep you've been barely conscious of them.
Homework: Write your ultimate personal ad. Address it to your current partner if you're already paired. Share it at freewillastrology.com.