Ellen Page, left, Penelope Cruz and their To Rome With Love director, Woody Allen
PHOTO BY JENNIE WARREN
Ellen Page, left, Penelope Cruz and their To Rome With Love director, Woody Allen
Penelope Cruz, left, Woody Allen and Ellen Page
PHOTO BY JENNIE WARREN
Penelope Cruz, left, Woody Allen and Ellen Page

His next film, set to star Cate Blanchett, Sally Hawkins and Louis C.K., will shoot mostly in San Francisco. "There are very few places in America that have charm," Allen explains. "San Francisco, it's pretty. It's got a European charm to it."

Maybe, but it doesn't have European money. Allen says he's financing this next film privately, through "people that got into a conversation with me and never got out without donating some money." In a word, as Allen says, breaking into an unforced grin for the first and last time in my presence, "Suckers."

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Adam
Adam

And in other news, there's also Jerry Sandusky. But I guess you can't do an article on him, because it would be inconvenient at this time, seeing as, you, at the L.A.Weekly, like this sort of thing. You give an 'objective' review, and then, you make sure another one of your reviewers reveals their true gushing feelings for ol Woody. Dude is so arrogant, he won't even change his first name. And how about that man sized frame of Penelope Cruz. I heard, somewhere that, when you have a problem with somebody, you get personal.

Doug Tarnopol
Doug Tarnopol

Whoops -- should have used actual quotation marks instead those "sideways carrot things". Here it is in full again; apologies for having to double post. Didn't see any way to undo my first one. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To call this review trite is a compliment. I'll waste only this much ATP on it: "'That Allen is still making films about men grappling with the illogic of love, well into his 70s, particularly in light of his own life experience, gives the work the weight of tragedy. He's been using his art to ask these questions for 40 years, and he still hasn't figured it out. "About the important things in life, you learn nothing," Allen acknowledges. "I know this, I'm older now. It's really true."'" It should be front-page news that this 31-year-old film critic has ironed out that whole love thing in her spare time. She would be the first human being in history to have done so. She really ought to come back into the cave and let the rest of us benighted fools in on the secret. I have to add this: virtually all artists, great and small, end up repeating themselves, both because most people, even most geniuses, don't have more than one or maybe two great ideas and, more importantly, because the human condition sort of limits the possibilities. What "new thing" can be said at this point? Not much, if anything, though new ways of saying old things is good enough -- just as saying "I love you" to a loved one repeatedly, in perhaps somewhat different ways, is not exactly, like, you know, needlessly repeating oneself. If she understood a thing about Woody Allen's real themes, she'd realize that he thinks we're all checkmated at birth, and the best we can do is console each other along the way. In various ways, including by "tell[ing] funnier jokes." Whether or not she agrees with that is her affair, but a critic should first understand and then critique. I know, and everyone should be nice to everyone else, too. Finally, the whole undertone of this piece -- that Allen's work is just all about crass monetary considerations -- is really tacky. As well as totally groundless. It's typical of the kind of oh-so-(faux) clever-critic reversal you'd expect of someone with a taste for postmodern-ish glasses frames: Allen, the one person you would have thought least concerned about such things, the one person who, like his stuff or not, is obviously authentic and serious, turns out to be...wait for it...a total hypocrite! He's just like Hollywood hacks -- perhaps even *worse*! And speaking of trying to create a persona based on glasses frames...hmmmm.... Sure, TRWL might suck. It happens. I don't know Woody Allen personally. He may be an intolerable person. I like most of his films; others not so much; at least a handful are among the best American films, period. I "like" him in the way you "like" anyone who can make you laugh, make you think, and so on. But I don't pretend that he's my friend, that image on the screen. Again, I don't know him, and don't much care one way or the other about his personal life. I know, that's taboo in our current "culture." I'm weird like that. But what most annoys me is the ridiculous critic-sneer that comes through so loud and clear. She should be so lucky as to have a tenth of the insight into the ultimately tragic human condition as Woody Allen does. Oh, and that insight *is* utterly derivative -- they were onto it in Gilgamesh, after all. So, we should concentrate on something else, right? Like, what, exactly? It's almost enough to make you think the ultimately unfair trope that all critics are failed, frustrated artists is true. (It isn't -- at least not for all critics.)

Doug Tarnopol
Doug Tarnopol

To call this review trite is a compliment. I'll waste only this much ATP on it: > It should be front-page news that this 31-year-old film critic has ironed out that whole love thing in her spare time. She would be the first human being in history to have done so. She really ought to come back into the cave and let the rest of us benighted fools in on the secret. I have to add this: virtually all artists, great and small, end up repeating themselves, both because most people, even most geniuses, don't have more than one or maybe two great ideas and, more importantly, because the human condition sort of limits the possibilities. What "new thing" can be said at this point? Not much, if anything, though new ways of saying old things is good enough -- just as saying "I love you" to a loved one repeatedly, in perhaps somewhat different ways, is not exactly, like, you know, needlessly repeating oneself. If she understood a thing about Woody Allen's real themes, she'd realize that he thinks we're all checkmated at birth, and the best we can do is console each other along the way. In various ways, including by "tell[ing] funnier jokes." Whether or not she agrees with that is her affair, but a critic should first understand and then critique. I know, and everyone should be nice to everyone else, too. Finally, the whole undertone of this piece -- that Allen's work is just all about crass monetary considerations -- is really tacky. As well as totally groundless. It's typical of the kind of oh-so-(faux) clever-critic reversal you'd expect of someone with a taste for postmodern-ish glasses frames: Allen, the one person you would have thought least concerned about such things, the one person who, like his stuff or not, is obviously authentic and serious, turns out to be...wait for it...a total hypocrite! He's just like Hollywood hacks -- perhaps even *worse*! And speaking of trying to create a persona based on glasses frames...hmmmm.... Sure, TRWL might suck. It happens. I don't know Woody Allen personally. He may be an intolerable person. I like most of his films; others not so much; at least a handful are among the best American films, period. I "like" him in the way you "like" anyone who can make you laugh, make you think, and so on. But I don't pretend that he's my friend, that image on the screen. Again, I don't know him, and don't much care one way or the other about his personal life. I know, that's taboo in our current "culture." I'm weird like that. But what most annoys me is the ridiculous critic-sneer that comes through so loud and clear. She should be so lucky as to have a tenth of the insight into the ultimately tragic human condition as Woody Allen does. Oh, and that insight *is* utterly derivative -- they were onto it in Gilgamesh, after all. So, we should concentrate on something else, right? Like, what, exactly? It's almost enough to make you think the ultimately unfair trope that all critics are failed, frustrated artists is true. (It isn't -- at least not for all critics.)

 

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