Twelve Tales of Sexual Mortification

Giving a foot job is tiring, he has learned. It exercises your calf and thigh muscles. "It's very hard, so I've heard. Because you have to keep your feet and legs up and keep moving them back and forth."

It is, apparently, an excellent core workout.

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• Ben Wa
• Ben Wa Balls
• Rohnert Park
• Foot Fetishes
• Fetishes

For those moments when his lover does not want the exercise, Mansour has invented a foot toy called the Sole Stroker. "It's also for guys who are still in the closet about their foot fetish," he explains. The prototype is made of rubber and consists of two feet, actually modeled on his wife's, which are clasped sole to sole, as if in prayer — perfect foot-job position. There's a small hole in the middle where the arches would be. His company, Exxxotic Toes, is currently in the process of licensing it to a bigger sex toy company for manufacture.

For a while, Mansour's Sole Stroker had a Facebook fan page with 5,000 fans. But the powers that be deleted it. It's Facebook, after all. Not Footbook.

6. The Ben Wa Balls Go to Court

Slim decided to surprise her husband by inserting Chinese Ben Wa balls into her vagina one afternoon. Ben Wa balls are metal spheres that can be as small as marbles or as big as ping-pong balls. They wiggle around inside the pelvis as a woman moves, creating a subtle stimulation. Slim's were about the size of quail eggs and had little chimes inside.

But when her husband, Ricky, came home, he was in a hurry. "I totally forgot we were supposed to go to court with his father," Slim says. "I think because I got nervous, or it swelled up, I couldn't pull the balls out. So I left them in there without telling him."

She could hear the soft jingle-jangle chiming of the balls as she walked from the car to the courthouse. No big deal ... until she saw the metal detector looming ahead.

Improvising, she ripped the top button off her pants and fastened them with a safety pin she found in her purse. When the guards asked her to remove the pin, she was ready. "I can't! My pants will fall off," she protested. She beeped through the metal detector, decoy safety pin and secret balls intact.

"The whole time I never knew," Ricky says. "My dad was discussing what he had to do in court, and she was trailing behind. I kept looking back, and she's giggling and giggling."

Later, when she was more relaxed, he was able to pull the balls out.

"It was the first time I did that," she says. It wasn't the last.

Slim is a 44-year-old court reporter with long, straight, black hair, a jolly, plump face and a jolly, voluptuous body. Ricky is 47, stocky and gruff. They have been married for 20 years. The sex is good. "Can't complain," Slim says. "He was my first and only. I lost my virginity at 25. I made him wait two years, though."

Slim used to be "kinda repressed," Ricky says. At first, she threw away his dirty magazines. Two decades of monogamy later, she has a collection of smut. And, these days, she is the kind of girl who can sit calmly in court with metal balls clanking around in her private parts.

7. The Girl in the Gondola

On Valentine's Day five years ago, Crishawn went on a private gondola ride with a guy in Newport Beach. The man brought Champagne and strawberries and roses. They glided through the water, admiring houses along the shore. "It was nice," she says. But then they got carried away.

Maybe it was the alcohol, she figures. One thing led to another, and soon she and the guy were having sex. She'd never had sex in public before. She didn't even think about the gondola tipping over until it started rocking.

Looking refined today in cashmere and Louis Vuitton, Crishawn is a 37-year-old investigator for the U.S. Postal Service and a self-described social conservative.

"It frightened me," she says. "It was uncomfortable, too. It's not like a bed or anything. It's one seat."

The gondolier was up in front, with just a curtain separating him from Crishawn and her man in back. The water lapped up the side of the gondola.

But the boat did not, to Crishawn's great relief, overturn. She still blushes, though, at the thought of the gondolier having to steady the boat, and the people on shore wondering why it was bobbing up and down in the water.

Did she date the man for a while? "Yeah, he's right there," she says, laughing demurely as she points to a tall, handsome man lurking in the condom section.

8. The Blood on the Floor

Nicole, a 21-year-old dental student, was having her period. But the flow wasn't heavy, so she and her boyfriend decided to have sex. They did it in the dark. They did it standing up. They did it here. They did it there. They did it everywhere. Then they lay on the bed for a while and cuddled. When they turned on the light, there were drops of menstrual blood all over the floor.