Page Two: How HARD Are You?

HARD Summer Music Festival, Aug. 6 at downtown's Los Angeles State Historic Park, is easily the best electronic music festival to annually pass through town. Not only are the lineups consistently quality, but you can attend without getting trampled. (Literally.) But the crowds have a tendency to devolve into cliché. Here's a field guide.

ILLUSTRATION BY FRED NOLAND

Related Content

• Exclusive: Skrillex, Bloc Party, and Miike Snow Headline Hard Summer Fest
  April 24, 2012
• HARD Fest Preview: How HARD Are You?
  August 5, 2011
• Skrillex, Odd Future, Gaslamp Killer, and Chromeo at HARD Summer Fest - Los Angeles State Historic Park - 8/7/11
  August 7, 2011
• The Internet, Kilo Kish - The Echo - 5/25/12
  May 26, 2012
• 7 Reasons You Should Be Watching Adventure Time
  April 2, 2012

More About

• LCD Soundsystem
• Chromeo
• Ratatat (Band)
• Music Festivals
• Arts, Entertainment, and Media

Like this Story?

Get the Music Newsletter: Keep your thumb on the local music scene with music features, additional online music listings and show picks. We'll also send special ticket offers and music promotions available only to our Music Newsletter subscribers.

Make sign up easy with:

Douchey USC Brah

Style: No shirt, cargo shorts, neon bandanna

Substance abused: Will tell his friends only alcohol but is searching desperately for coke and E.

There to see: Skrillex

Beware: He will try to fight you, or else he may try to have sex with you.

Hypebeast Hip-Hop Skateboarder

Style: Supreme and Nikes

Substance abused: Medicinal

There to see: Odd Future

Beware: If you don't want to get a contact high, don't stand too close.

"Sorry for Partying" Raver Girl

Style: "Candy" bracelets, glasses with no lenses, piece of cloth to cover her nips

Substance abused: Candyflip

There to see: Boys Noize

Beware: Is she slutty or does she just want you to think so? At the end of the day, she just wants your drugs.

Kid Who Missed Comic-Con

Style: The Warriors duds and slutty manga stuff

Substance abused: Ecstasy

There to see: Duck Sauce

Beware: Like a little kid wearing his Halloween costume to school, they're desperate for attention.

Creepy Guy, Too Old, Too Alone

Style: Jeans and a T-shirt

Substance abused: Cashed out, but there's still some resin in this pipe!

There to see: The chicks

Beware: His Ph.D. studies were focused on Megan's Law.

Honorable Mention: Hipster Indie Kid, not dressed for the occasion, just came to check out the dudes from LCD Soundsystem's disco tent and some Chromeo and Ratatat. He will be mocking others, but the joke will be on him, because everyone else is having the time of their lives (like Johnny and Baby).