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Master of the House of Playboy

Hef, still doing it his way (does he really have a choice?)

The young women assembled on the lawn have come from around the country for this moment, delivered to the Playboy Mansion by mothers and boyfriends, each girl prepared for the day in extravagant states of undress. Standing on stiletto heels, they wear G-strings and micro-bikinis, lingeries of lace and silk, while showing off golden tans or blindingly pale skin beneath a warm, cloudless sky. They are here for a Playboy casting call, 225 of them ready to be chosen for a new generation of naked girls next door, to land on the glossy pages of an intimate magazine pictorial. By tomorrow another 300 will have arrived, flying in from Boston, New York, Florida, Australia. But today's search has come to a halt as the young women anxiously await the imminent appearance of the man of the house, the esteemed publisher and chief lothario, Hugh M. Hefner, or, simply, "Hef."

The front door opens to a round of girlish cheers when Hefner steps from his castle with a wave, a video crew documenting the boss in his red-satin robe and white captain's hat. He is 84 now and walks with the stiffness of age, but he moves quickly past the stone cherubs in the fountain, past the wishing well where he married his second wife (now divorced), and through this crowd of young admirers. He does not linger.

"Hi, Hef! We love you!" shouts a petite woman with auburn skin and bleached-blond hair, nearly bursting out of her frilly bikini top and panties. Hefner smiles again but keeps leaning forward, walking with an entourage that includes several security men and his new No. 1 girlfriend, Crystal Harris, the magazine's Miss December for 2009, an athletic blonde a fraction of his age, strolling beside him in a little black dress.

In a moment, Hefner is at the tennis court, where temporary photo studios are erected inside white tents, as models wait their turn to disrobe for a quick test in front of a Playboy camera. (One asks photographer Arny Freytag if she can fill out an application to be Hef's girlfriend.) Hefner poses for a quick snapshot with a crowd of would-be Playmates, and sits for a brief interview for Playboy Radio. It's there that he is presented with a large, jovial portrait of himself, created by an artist who paints exclusively with his penis.

Hefner has hosted scenes like this for more than five decades: all the parties and political events, the nude sunbathing by the pool and roller disco on the tennis court, mingling with actors, athletes, presidential candidates and an endless rotation of young women. It is a life and image he invented for himself, and it continues to define the Playboy dream. The man and the brand remain inseparable.

It has been a long run of high style and decadence, a nonstop pajama party at the Mansion, his personal Shangri-la. Hefner rarely leaves the premises, and he will tell you with a satisfied cackle, "Life is tough here, as you can see."

There are the expected "aches and pains," the occasional trouble with the ex-wife and girlfriends, and his hearing is going. He also hosts fewer of the famous house parties now, citing the cost of all that hedonistic fun. More ominous is the health of Playboy Enterprises Inc., which he took public during boom times nearly four decades ago, and which now faces the same declining fortunes and circulation numbers as all print media. Playboy magazine's current 1.5 million circulation represents a staggering drop from its 1971 peak of 7 million.

The stock price has been in a steady fall for years. Rumored attempts by the board to sell the company or find new partnerships have stalled, with Hefner's ongoing role the ultimate complication. He remains majority owner with 70 percent of the stock, and he is not about to sell, or to abandon his role as the living symbol of the empire. That would kill him. This month, Hefner surprised the board and financial analysts with an offer to buy back the company stock he doesn't already own, reasserting himself as the master of the house of Playboy, with no intention of leaving the mansion or the life.

The dream that sustains him, as it does his most committed readers, is a small one. It is not movie star Hef. It is not Hef in the White House. Hef on the moon. It is a dream that can fit comfortably inside the mind of any American male: big house, naked girls. This is a dream that can carry you for many years, from adolescence and apparently well into your 80s. But is the dream still a dream after half a century of uninterrupted wish fulfillment? Does Hef still look at his bedside bottle of baby oil with the same level of enthusiasm?

On the walk back from the tennis court, Hefner and Miss Crystal chat happily about the day's big turnout of would-be Playmates, as a brown-and-white spaniel named after Charlie Chaplin runs beside them. Once inside, the couple pauses at the bottom of the stairs. Hefner turns to his lady and says quietly, "See you later tonight?" It's a simple, ordinary question, but he says it with such vulnerability, a fragile whisper from an older man still craving romance and affection. It's almost breathtaking to witness.

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  • May need therapy Christina... 08/24/2010 12:38:00 AM

    Wow, colossal spell-check fail, didn’t print my entire comment either, oh well never mind, not interested enough to re-post.

  • May need therapy Christina... 08/24/2010 12:34:00 AM

    "change the legal age limit and the guy would be called a child molester." - umm, I know you think that was a clever comment, but the reality is you can change all sorts of laws to criminialise individuls...if we changed the law to make the name Christina a crime your parents would be in jail, golly prety profund of me have Chris.

  • Jeffry Martini 07/31/2010 9:16:00 PM

    I for one will be saddened when Hef goes to the Great Mansion in the sky. We will have lost a true icon, a man of many beliefs and many good deeds. Yes he is not perfect, nor is anyone else, but he has done more to bring attention to meaningful injustices than any other publisher since Henry Luce. The list of his accomplishments is too long to recount. Suffice it to say, he was the right guy at the right time to start a publishing revolution and then because of his success, didn't rest on his laurels. He had the guts to put his money where his message was and as result he expanded his empire into all areas of social discourse. Like him or not he will always be one of the most influential people in American history. Like my father before me, I am honored to have met him through the pages of the magazine, studied his published Philosophy and much enjoyed embracing his lifestyle. --A former Playboy College Rep. (University of Illinois)

  • Anon 07/31/2010 10:02:00 AM

    Oh no, I accidentally swallowed some drain cleaner -- if I don't get it out of my system immediately, I'm in trouble. What to do, what to do. . . . I'm gonna sit down here on the sofa and collect my thoughts. Hmm, here's the new LA Weekly, think I'll take a look. Interesting photo of a teenager in her underwear on the back cover. Niiiiice. Lessee, let's see what's the cover story this week. . . ....Oh my Gawwwddd! Who is that wrinkly old man next to that young woman? What? It's Hugh Hefner's grandfather? No? It's Hef? That woman lets him touch her? That's disgusting! Oh, oh, ackkk, I'm gonna be sick.... [Sounds of gut-wrenching retching and vomiting for two full minutes, followed by 30 seconds of dry heaves.] ....Ahhh, thank you LA Weekly, you saved my life!

  • Babs 07/31/2010 8:10:00 AM

    hahaha..of course Hollywood wasn't going to make a POSTHUMOUS tribute to Hef. they RUSHED that bad boy to the screens. i'm sure i know why he 'requested' that it not be posthumous.

  • christina 07/31/2010 5:59:00 AM

    funny how predictable you bolded quotes are. but of course there are many reasons why you bold them, right? we can tell you like the guy. change the legal age limit and the guy would be called a child molester. anyway, depending on whether or not you like the subject of your articles, you either champion the cause of hard assets (ahem) or you champion the cause of liquidation. suffice it to say, no matter how i feel, i will always champion against liquidation. funny though how Neverland, or something relatable to it, gets mentioned in many of your articles. hateful respect is the best respect. you might say, why read them, then? i say, that you always say how can you comment if you have never seen the movie? i notice you do publish comments from people who didn't submit phone numbers. i know a comment is never well written, unless you agree with it, so...

 

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