Scott Baio, Nanci Griffith, Secret Policeman’s Ball and Other Signs of Aging

Nanci Griffith: She’s got all night to remember you.

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• Rudy Perez
• Paul Chihara
• Francis Poulenc
• Orchestral Music
• Classical Music

FRIDAY, JUNE 5

Film

COMEDIANS: A BUNCH OF CELLULOID-OUTS
Comedians from Upright Citizens Brigade’s Comedy Death-Ray (the popular alt-comedy fiesta headlined by the likes of Mr. Show’s Bob Odenkirk and David Cross, Best Week Ever’s Doug Benson and Paul F. Tompkins, and Comedians of Comedy’s Patton Oswalt, Brian Posehn, Zach Galifianakis and Maria Bamford) screen the films that influenced them the most all this month at the Silent Movie Theatre, thanks to those innocent kids at Cinefamily who surely had no idea what they were getting themselves into. What does Sarah Silverman’s selection of Carl Reiner’s 1970 cult classic Where’s Poppa? (June 5) reveal about her? Nothing more than what we already knew: She’s a sick chick. The plot pits George Segal against his eccentric mom (Ruth Gordon) by virtue of a commitment made to his dead dad not to put her in a “home,” despite her penchant for driving him crazy. Odenkirk’s choice, Albert Brooks’ Real Life (June 12), a prescient 1979 reality-TV parody about a narcissistic filmmaker who can’t help interfering with the family he’s documenting, surely speaks to Odenkirk’s own fear of narcissism, or perhaps his fear of Ben Stiller. Why Patton Oswalt picked schlock thriller God Told Me To (1976, Larry Cohen), I’ll never know (at least not until the screening June 19), but it probably has something to do with Andy Kaufman’s role as a police officer (!) who mows down a crowd. Tim and Eric (of Adult Swim’s Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!) wrap things up June 26 with True Stories, David Byrne’s 1986 pseudo documentary/vanity project about an offbeat Texas town. Why Tim and Eric chose this one is obvious: The good movies had already been taken. Cinefamily at the Silent Movie Theatre, 611 N. Fairfax Ave., L.A.; Fridays, 8 p.m., through June 26; $14. (323) 655-2510.

—Derek Thomas

Comedy Pick

BOBBY COLLINS
A critic once described Bobby Collins as “the perfect fusion between Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis.” Someone get this man his own sitcom — he’s more exasperated than Raymond, more incisive than Archie and more like your dad than Ward.  —Libby Molyneaux

Who do people say you look like?

I’m a cross between James Bond and the Penguin from Batman, quack quack.

Would you ever do a reality show? What would we learn about your life?

Yes. I would do a reality show just to prove to people that there are souls with substance and a spiritual awareness still alive and living in Gotham.

Does your act have a “Margaritaville” that your fans demand you perform?

“Bobby, how’s your dog?”

How has the economic crisis affected you?

My wife and I are wearing helmets and reading stories to Ethiopian children about eating all the food on their plates because there are people in America starving to death.

What’s the worst thing anyone’s said to you?

“If you don’t tell me, I’ll find out where your parents are buried, dig up their graves and fuck their skulls.” I told him what he wanted to know.

What was the best kiss of your life?

When I met my wife and she kissed me and I was no longer a frog.

What type of old man do you think you’ll be?

The type of old man who won’t be able to distinguish between a vagina and a Mardi Gras mask ...

Will you retire to Florida?

Not Florida, but another place where old people go into the pool and it becomes carbonated.

Anything else you’d like to say to L.A. Weeklyreaders?

I love L.A. I love the people. (Hola, Isabelle!) I love the weather; I now watch Doppler 7000 HD — and a guy named Dallas Raines. I love the earthquakes, it beats the subway. I like the fake breasts (you could chip a tooth). I love the cop chases. (When do they kill them? They don’t, they just follow them!) I love L.A.

Bobby Collins at the Comedy & Magic Club, 1018 Hermosa Ave., Hermosa Beach; Fri., June 5, 8 p.m.; Sat., June 6, 7 & 9:15 p.m.; $25. (310) 372-1193.

SATURDAY, JUNE 6

Festival

OH, VENICE, MY VENICE, HOW I CHERISH YOU AND YOUR SACKS OF HACKY
It’s home to a breed of stinky hippies and weirdos that refuses to die, the largest free health clinic in the country, that Sikh guitarist on Rollerblades, and more palm readers per square foot than Kathmandu. There really isn’t a better-suited patch of land in the Greater Los Angeles area than Venice for a colorful event like Carnevale! (Sorry, Topanga Canyon.) Escape the sandy street theater of the boardwalk for loads of live music and entertainment — the Bonedaddys, Harissa Belly Dance Troupe, Kathy Leonardo, Wadada reggae band, Sugarbitch, Hillel: Mr. Balloon Man, Gabriel Rosati & Brazilatafro and many others. A costume contest is where you get some badly needed attention. Time your meds for Mutaytor’s mind-blowing finale featuring countless tribal drums, electronica, fire performers, hoop dancers, aerial artists, not to mention John Avila (Oingo Boingo) on bass, and a live horn section, Chinese parade lions, life-size puppets, giant-screen visuals and dancers who may or may not be part of the group. West end of Windward Ave., Venice Beach; Sat., June 6, noon-10 p.m.; free. www.carnevale.us.