LA WEEKLY: You use a lot of naughty language for a clean-cut guy are you a secret sicko?
LYNCH: I am the Ted Bundy of comedy.
Does your act have a "Margaritaville" a song your audience would be crushed about if you didn't perform?
I have many "Margaritavilles." Probably my most requested songs are "Lullaby," "Beelz" and "Grandfather." Also, my cover version of "Margaritaville."
You are the son of a former nun and priest? How fucked up are you?
Fortunately, the nun and priest were normal people and good parents, so not too fucked up. Well, a little fucked up. Hail Satan.
What do you like to do when in L.A.?
Go to San Francisco.
Are you one of those New Yorkers who feels superior to us?
I'm from Detroit, so I feel superior to no one.
Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
Lionel Ritchie, obviously.
If you had a catch phrase, what would it be?
"That's a spicy meatball!" No, wait. "Hell's Bells!" No, wait. "It's already been broughten!" Yeah, the last one.
What do you do all day when you're on the road?
I spend most of my time in hotel rooms, where I eat room service, watch movies and write in my red-velvet, unicorn-themed man-journal.
Proust section, à laVanity Fair: When and where is your idea of perfect happiness?
Asleep in Lionel Ritchie's moustache, dreaming of cotton candy and singing "Margaritaville."
What was the most despondent you've ever felt?
The Captain wired in he had water coming in, and the good ship and crew was in peril. And later that night when his lights went out of sight, came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
Where do you go to be alone?
A Tone Loc concert.