Why are so many funny comics from Boston?
Because Boston is a miserable place filled with drunks, losers and jewish girls with big tits.
What's it feel like to be nominated for an Emmy for comedy writing?
It feels squishy and a little bit AIDsy. And its an honor just to be nominated. Did you know that I won one those too?
When was the last time you had a Cinnabon?
I had one in Louisville, Kentucky, but I don't remember when. Whenever it was, I still feel awful about it.
Your bio has a ton of typos -- would you hire me to be your proofreader?
Typos are subjective. Ill spell my bio anyway I want.
What was the highlight of 2008 for you?
Recording my last standup special in March and waking up the next day with no usable standup material.
What was your low point?
My dog died.
What about you would most surprise your fans?
I am gay and a Republican.
What event from childhood most shaped your life?
Shitting on my grandmother's floor on Christmas Eve in Mexico City.
What would cause you to give up comedy?
Death. Or if I feel like stopping. Or if the president tells me to stop.
The Wiltern is a classy place -- what will you wear?
A wig made from your fathers hair. And Crocs.