Labia, Sarah Silverman, Phantom of the Opera and more!

FRIDAY, JANUARY 23

THEATER

The Great White Pacific Coast Highway

Face it, you’re not jetting off to the Big Apple to catch Liza (closed), Hairspray (closed), Chicago (long gone) or Cats (ditto) any time soon. But maybe you can afford a few gallons of gas and a ticket for Forbidden Broadway: The 25th Anniversary. This is the same show that won a special Tony Award in 2006 with all-in-fun jabs at Avenue Q, Billy Joel’s Movin’ Out, La Cage Auz Folles, Little Shop of Horrors, Les Miz andf Beauty andthe Beast. Forbidden Broadway is New York’s longest -running musical – but guess what? Yep, that show had its final performance just last week. Smothers Theatre, Pepperdine University, 24255 Pacific Coast Hwy., Malibu; Fri., Jan. 23, 8 p.m.; $45. (310) 506-4522. —Libby Molyneaux

MUSEUMS

Dig In

The Natural History Museum opens its latest, permanent exhibit. Visible Vault: Archaeological Treasures from Ancient Latin America, giving a behind-the-scenes look at the conservation of more than 700 artifacts from the Aztec, Maya, Inca and other ancient civilizations, including ceramic sculptures, carvings, pottery, drinking vessels, and even gold adornments. In conjunction, the museum hosts a Latin festival Sat., Jan. 24 (10 a.m.-5 p.m.) featuring a performance by Grammy-nominated Latin Jazz singer conguero Poncho Sanchez, a mask-making workshop and other family activities. Natural History Museum, 900 Exposition Blvd.; Fri., Jan. 23, 9:30 a.m.-5 p.m.; $9, $6.50 seniors & students, $2 children 5-12, under 5 free. (213) 763-3466. —Siran Babayan

GAY NIGHTLIFE

Go East, Young Man — and Take Your Gorgeous Sculpted Abs With You

You ever want to take a breather from the slick, gay nightlife scene of West Hollywood? You know, skip the lines and cover charges, those anonymous guys you always see at the gym during the week, and the incredibly expensive fancy drinks? Maybe head off into territories unknown or rarely visited? Maybe even meet a new kind of guy? We do all the time. That’s why we like to drive over to Silver Lake on a Friday or Saturday for Akbar’s “Free Dance” Nights, where you can shimmy on an expanded dance floor and not hear the same music over and over again—either Mike Glass or Jonny Cota will be your DJ for the evening. Akbar, which was named the 2008 “Best Gay Bar” in L.A. Weekly, has always been a welcomed, less self-conscious alternative to Boystown, but some people either forget it’s there or don’t know exists. But it does exist, and it’s calling you. And if you’re reading this blurb right now and feel a certain stir in your soul, you must obey it and head over to Akbar immediately. Good things are destined to happen. Akbar, 4356 Sunset Blvd., Silver Lake; Fri.-Sat., 10 p.m.- 2 a.m.; (323) 665-6810. —Patrick Range McDonald

SATURDAY, JANUARY 24

COMEDY

Sarah Silverman — Call Me!

At first it I was going to recommend Drew Carey at the Laugh Factory try in Long Beach, Then I remembered the post-110-related shock I went into after a Bayou Festival a few years ago after spending AN HOUR AND A HALF driving 11 miles home. Seriously, this paper needs to start a section called “Things Worth Driving to Long Beach For” — and though seeing big-shot Drew Carey in a club might qualify, the drive back (because nobody actually lives in Long Beach) is a deal-breaker. Read my new book: How To Live in Los Angeles and Never Travel More Than 10 Miles! Which brings us to centrally located Sarah Silverman. She’s nasty and cute and funny as a dude.” With Nick Swardson. Largo at the Coronet, 366 N. La Cienega Blvd.; Sat., Jan. 24, 8 p.m.; $25. (310) 855-0350. —L.M.

DANCE

Oni, Oni, Oh!

Maria Gillespie is a riveting dancer and compelling choreographer of whom little has been seen since a shared concert in summer 2007. Gillespie and her troupe, Oni Dance, return with Gillespie’s latest, Wasteland (arrival, staged in the round on dirt-covered terrain. While Gillespie’s choreographic reach sometimes exceeds her grasp, it’s always refreshing to watch a choreographer and dancers explorE unfamiliar turf and stretch toward something more. Another reason to watch, Gillespie’s splendid and dedicated dancers, including Eva Aymami, Yiwen Chen, Nguyen Nguyen, Kevin Williamson and Noelle Bordelet, another brilliant dancer/choreographer, who collaborated with Gillespie on this endeavor. Video at www.OniDance.org. The real thing at Santa Moinca Bay Woman’s Club, 1210 Fourth St., Santa Monica; Sat.-Sun., Jan. 23-24, 8 p.m.; Sun., Jan. 25, 7 p.m.; $20, $17 students. (310) 395-1308. —Ann Haskins

CLASSICAL

Newest Opus of the Week

German composer Wolfgang von Schweinitz is one of the great musical explorers of our time. He’s always experimenting and expanding his boundaries, if indeed he has boundaries, and this week he premieres his newest opus, Plainsound Glissando Modulation, a monumental raga in just intonation for violin and double bass that’s the current culmination of his “profound exploration of microtonal phenomena.” It’s perhaps a big jump from the von Schweinitz of 30 years ago, who hit the new music world running in 1977 with his incredible Variations on a Theme by Mozart, a wild work that begins with staid, somber Mozart and suddenly takes off into blaring dissonant space with brass and winds making eerie noises, strings entering the fray, and percussion following suit until all the instruments are shouting at once. And yet, there is beautiful order in the chaos, into which, at various intervals, a Mozartean line is dropped like a delicate dumpling into a boiling pot. Today, von Schweinitz holds the prestigious Roy E. Dinsey Family Compositional Chair at CalArts, but chairs aren’t really for him; his music can’t sit still and we’re all happy about that. Also on the program: von Schweinitz’s Plainsound-Litany for solo cello. Performers include violinist Helge Slaatto, bassist Frank Reinecke and cellist Erika Duke-Kirkpatrick. Redcat, 631 W. Second St., L.A., www.redcat.org; Sat., Jan. 24, 8:30 p.m. $20-$16; student tickets available. (213) 637-2800. —Mary Beth Crain