By Hillel Aron
By Joseph Tsidulko
By Patrick Range McDonald
By David Futch
By Hillel Aron
By Dennis Romero
By Jill Stewart
By Dennis Romero
“When you’re really in a relationship,” Lauren says, “there are expectations. As opposed to when you are in something casual where there are supposedly no expectations.”
But, Lauren quickly adds, there are, in fact, some expectations that come with the casual relationships based in text messaging.
“They are low expectations, but expectations nonetheless,” she says, explaining that there are basically only two: “That they respond to your text and are available when you wanna have sex. I have seen girls obsess for days on ‘Why didn’t he text me back?’ But they would never display that, because it alludes to something more than a casual sexual relationship.”
“I was having textual relations with someone today,” Kendra explains cheekily. “I do like the flirtation. If I text someone something a little dry and they can jump right back with something funny . . . you can get a little something going. I like a quick mind and wit.”
“I am texting with my ex-husband right now,” Amanda says, looking up from her BlackBerry Pearl. “It’s not funny,” she smirks.
Kendra scrolls through her BlackBerry inbox, looking for an excerpt from her textual relations.
“I met someone earlier today,” she says. “Amanda and I were at the bike store and these guys started talking with us. We exchanged numbers and started texting.”
She begins to read verbatim.
“I was trying to add him to Messenger, and I asked him, ‘Did you get my request?’ He said, ‘No. But I found you on MySpace.’ I said, ‘Wow, you really came with some A-game! ’Cause you found me quick.’ And he wrote, ‘Yeah, you haven’t seen anything yet.’ And he [asked], ‘Are you ladies still riding?’ I said, ‘We are being interviewed for an article in the Weekly right now.’ And he said, ‘Ohh sweet! I didn’t know we were just mingling with some of L.A.’s finest.’ And I said, ‘Well, now you know.’ And he said, ‘Give me a plug for being a righteous dude just so the Weekly knows.’ ”
She looks up from her handheld, smiling. She is pleased.
“So, he is fast and smart. I don’t mind flirtations starting in text messages, but at some point the guy has to pick up the phone and say, ‘How about we go see a movie? We go get coffee? We go get dinner?’ ”
Kendra has another good strategy when guys obviously text for sex. When guys text her late at night, like, say, at 11 o’clock on a Friday, she’ll answer very literally about the exact thing they ask her. For example:
“They write, ‘Hey, how R U?’ And my new thing is, I send them a three-page text message saying exactly how I am. Exactly how my day was. Each detail — errands I ran, how work is going. Then I ask, ‘How are you?’ I’ll get a one-line answer. ‘I am fine. What R U doing?’ I’ll send them another three-page text, ending in ‘What are you doing?’ Then they’re, like, ‘Oh, nothing. Wanna hang out?’ I'll be like, ‘No. I am superbusy but nice chatting with you.’ I just keep doing that until they get the message.”
She barely pauses long enough to take a breath before concluding, “I have completely mastered the game of text messaging.”