Tapping the Source

Things seemed to be going better than ever for our bands. We had put out nine records in two years, performed all around town, had major-label interest, and Electricity had arranged for the record-store chain Licorice Pizza to carry our albums.

But then Father shifted his focus to the cataclysms that he saw on the horizon, and things changed. There was talk of selling the Source, and we could feel our Hollywood Eden begin to slip away.

Photos courtesy of Isis Aquarian/Source Family Archives

(Click image to enlarge)

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• Jim Baker
• Paul Mazursky
• Beverly Hills High School
• Warren Beatty
• Arts, Entertainment, and Media

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[In 1973, most of the Source Family moved to Hawaii. Except for a period of world travel and a longer stop in San Francisco, they remained there until YaHoWha’s death two years later. And then things began to fall apart.]

It was a rocky road for most of the Source Family members in following years. In the Family, we had our own way of dressing, eating, loving, our own social mores and even our own way of speaking. We had to relearn how to communicate with the rest of the world, now our world. It was a painful transition for most. Some started slipping away from the teachings and some went on to other spiritual endeavors or groups. Some fell into drugs to try and recapture the cosmic heights we’d gotten so accustomed to or simply to escape. A few brothers ended up living on the streets, and a number had breakdowns.

Some of the Family members looked back on their experience as the best of times, a foundation that allowed them to make sense of this life and even the next. Some had regret, shame or anger for the things that occurred. For me, I consider YaHoWha the great love of my life. I saw him as Jim Baker, Father Yod and YaHoWha, and I loved him for who he was in each of these manifestations of his being. I know he was also the great love of his other women, and I understand why. For me, sharing him with others was ideal, and I felt in harmony in the situation; I was fulfilled by him in every way, and in a few short years felt more love, comfort, wisdom, fun and a deeper connection to spirit and flesh than I’d ever imagined was possible in this world.

And for many of the Family members who live on, despite the harsh judgment many have had to endure over the years trying to explain or justify our experience to others, the overwhelming majority continue to believe that their adventure with Father and the Family was a defining period of their lives.