A Star Is Boring

At least Star Jones didn’t come up with some embarrassing title for her new five-day-a-week Court TV yakker. It isn’t Twinkle Twinkle With Star Jones or Unstapled With Star Jones or Star Jones: I Am a Lawyer. It’s simply Star Jones. And yet, there’s something sorely lacking from the attorney-turned-celebrity’s venture into solo hostdom: namely, three other, more interesting women. The View’s former co-panelist may look unrecognizably slimmer, but her on-camera personality is still patently obnoxious and self-absorbed, whether endlessly trumpeting her justice cred (pointing out her license, saying things like “that’s the lawyer in me” and boasting of the criminals she’s sent to Rikers), or interrupting guests — and not in a debate-intensive way, but because she seems to not understand they haven’t finished talking.

Some elements are just weird: Last Friday, Jones hyped a segment called “In the Know” that she said would clue us in on fun ways to spend time with loved ones over the weekend. But all she did was mention that The Nanny Diaries was opening, and then interviewed a male nanny. Um, everybody knows about movies, Star: Are my wife and I supposed to go find a child minder to hang out with? But the suspicious part of Star Jones is how much the hour appears to be a way for Jones to excuse herself as a dubiously credentialed boldface name. A discussion of the famous in rehab leads a guest to conveniently praise Jones for choosing to “hit the pause button” before she admitted to losing weight via gastric bypass — something she’s been notably criticized for — after which she looks into the camera and says the famous shouldn’t be penalized for not talking about their issues. An “Open Letter,” meanwhile, sought props for how she handled herself over her quit/firing on The View — the show never mentioned by name — by not allowing herself to be dragged into a “pig fight.” And another celebrity-centered bit called “Use Whatcha Got” — sold as her “fresh take” on show biz — involved Jones praising the likes of Paris Hilton and guest Colie from MTV’s The Real World for making a living getting paid to show up at clubs or amusement parks. As she frames it, it’s the same as Bill Clinton getting hundreds of thousands of dollars for a speech! Well, not quite, Star, but we know you understand people think you’re a limelight-grabbing no-talent. I’ve certainly never been convinced she’s worth any viewer’s time, so shouldn’t she be working harder on her own show to prove she’s deserving of it?