By Hillel Aron
By Joseph Tsidulko
By Patrick Range McDonald
By David Futch
By Hillel Aron
By Dennis Romero
By Jill Stewart
By Dennis Romero
FRIDAY, December 15
This year, our own Gay Men’s Chorus promises its tinseliest program ever with Hollywood Holidays, featuring holiday songs from movies. And you know what that means: Yep, they’re rehearsing the one that’s just like the one we used to know as we speak. Also new is a special arrangement written by Richard Carpenter. Alex Theater, 216 N. Brand Blvd., Glendale; Fri., Dec. 15, 8 p.m.; Sat., Dec. 16, 3 & 8 p.m.; Sun., Dec. 17, 3 p.m.; $19.50-$49.50. (818) 243-2539.
SATURDAY, December 16
If one more Nutcracker is going to make you want to permanently sleep in heavenly peace, we bring you The MeshugaNutcracker!, complete with exclamation point. It’s a “crazy, fun-filled musical that celebrates the miracle of the oil and the heroes who made it happen.” Do you hear what I hear? Klezmer music! University of Judaism, 15600 Mulholland Dr., L.A.; Sat., Dec. 16, 7:30 p.m.; Sun., Dec. 17, 1 & 5 p.m.; $35-$50. (818) 986-7332 or www.kcdancers.org.
While you were out swing dancing to mashups, knitting and cross-stitching became hip. All things artsy and craftsy and handmade come together for Bazaar Bizarre, which prides itself in being “not your granny’s craft fair.” More than 100 crafters will hawk their wares, including two-headed rag dolls, arty tree decorations, naughty words in crochet and I AM GOING TO PUKE!!!!!!! And belts. Lots of nifty belts. You can also swap a bag of your old clothes for someone else’s old clothes. Shrine Auditorium Expo Center, 700 W. 32nd St., dwntwn. (sorta); Sat., Dec. 16, 11 a.m.-7 p.m.; $2. www.bazaarbizarre.org.
SUNDAY, December 17
Here’s something new and cool and possibly moving and/or disastrous: Unsilent Night. Everybody’s invited to bring a boom box and will receive a cassette, CD or digital file to play at an appropriate moment in the procession (or something like that). New York composer Phil Kline came up with the idea of an “electronic caroling party,” and it is hoped that it will become a yearly custom. You’re welcome to join the walk even if you don’t have a boom box, and voluntary donations of $1 will be collected for an anti-domestic-violence charity. Pan Pacific Park, 7600 Beverly Blvd., L.A.; Sun., Dec. 17, 7 p.m.; free. E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org and tell them what format you need.
MONDAY, December 18
All aboard the Santa Express. Trains leave nightly for the North Pole, taking a scenic route by cute woodland animals, gingerbread houses and giant candy canes. Upon arrival, you will be greeted by Mrs. Claus, who will hand you a treat before your face-to-face meeting with the Big Guy. Then it’s back on the train, where you will disembark, drive home and make yourself a giant martini. Travel Town, Griffith Park; 5 p.m.; thru Dec. 23; $5. (323) 662-9678.
TUESDAY, ?December 19
Welcome to the jungle — and yes, we’re talking about the parking structure at CityWalk, which will be overrun with Guns N’ Roses fans at every turn. Don’t they know the band won’t go on till midnight? That Sebastian Bach is singing? Is that Slash at the bar? Oh, won’t you please take me home? Gibson Amphitheatre, 100 Universal City Plaza, Universal City; Sun., Tues. & Wed., Dec. 17, 19 & 20, 8:15 p.m.; $39.50-$75. (213) 480-3232.
WEDNESDAY, December 20
The American Cinematheque’s In a Lonely Place — The Rebellious Cinema of Nicholas Ray continues with his most famous film, Rebel Without a Cause, followed by a restored and uncut version of Bitter Victory. Egyptian Theater, 6712 Sunset Blvd., Hlywd.; Wed., Dec. 20, 8 p.m.; $10, $9 students & seniors. (323) 466-FILM.
THURSDAY, December 21
LAPhil commands us to “Deck the Hall” — Walt Disney Hall, that is. Three nights of incredible music kick off with The Klezmatics,who will rock the house Hanukkah style. Later it’s Pete Escovedo with Sheila E and Alejandro Escovedo, followed by the Blind Boys of Alabama. Walt Disney Hall, 111 S. Grand Ave., dwntwn.; Thurs., Dec. 21, 8 p.m.; $27-$79. (213) 480-3232.?