Let There Be Light 

Wednesday, Sep 6 2006

It’s nearing 2 p.m. on a Wednesday, and every table at M Café is taken. Doesn’t anybody work in this city? Having just survived my first spinning class, I’m ravenous. I try hovering over various diners with an I’m-very-busy-and-important look on my face for about five minutes. Nothing. I’m ready to give up hope. Just then, I spot a tiny space on the bench at the communal table next to an obscenely attractive man with a shaved head and a soft smile draped across his lips. Suddenly, things are looking up. I pat my still-sweaty hair into place, tiptoe over to the hottie and, in my best starving-girl voice, ask, “Can I squeeze in here?” “Of course,” he smiles, scooting to his right. “Do you have enough room?”

A few minutes of eavesdropping later, I discover that he is a yoga teacher who goes by the name Light. Yeah, I know . . . But did I mention how hot he is?

Light is midconversation with a bandanna-clad woman who is shoveling peanut-sprinkled kale into her mouth. As soon as he finishes speaking, she launches into a diatribe about her myriad acts of food martyrdom.

Related Stories

  • Dude, What Were You Thinking? Jeff Bridges Stars in Kahlua Short Film

    We’ve been fond of Jeff Bridges ever since his Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific days in the second King Kong movie (which also “introduced” Jessica Lange – oh, nevermind, it’s too complicated to explain). We loved him as the Dude in The Big Lebowski, and he richly deserved that Oscar for...
  • The Trip to Italy

    In director Michael Winterbottom’s 2010’s quasi-fictional road movie, The Trip, British comedians and real life pals, Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon, cruised, bickered and ate their way through England’s Lake District. In this year’s sequel, The Trip to Italy — out Friday, Aug. 15 in L.A. — the culinary adventure taken...
  • How the Internet Destroyed Tom Cruise 307

    It was Jason Tugman's first day of work. Almost a decade later, he still remembers the screams. A former circus fire-eater, he'd taken a job as a lighting technician for The Oprah Winfrey Show after burning off a chunk of his tongue. The pay was $32 an hour and he...
  • Check Out Our Metro Gold Line Bar Crawl 2

    Recently Thrillist published a Metro rail bar map. This heroic effort identifies a watering hole within a 10-minute walk of each station in the entire Metro rail system, minus a few that, tragically, lack any booze within walking distance. We’re big fans of public transportation and efficient drinking, so we decided to...
  • 5 Fascinating Films from TIFF

    In September, the seasons change. After a summer sweating over the blockbuster box office, Hollywood is ready to roll out their serious awards contenders. The Toronto International Film Festival straddles both worlds, mixing low-budget genre flicks and daffy Midnight Madness chillers with Oscar hopefuls about girls on hikes, guys with...

“When I consume an animal that has been killed brutally, I can just feel it,” she moans. “You’re a pescetarian, right?” She gazes at Light as she says this, no doubt wondering, as I am, what sorts of food give him his signature glow.

After a thoughtful pause, Light says, “I focus more on how I eat than on what I eat.” He then calmly picks up his chopsticks and slowly raises a succulent bite of rice to his lips.

I look down at my hummus-and-falafel wrap, only to discover that between listening to Light and trying to hear what Kirsten Dunst is ordering, I have eaten half my meal without even noticing. That’s when I know that Light, in all his gorgeous yogafied goodness, isn’t the one for me. He could never be happy with someone who scarfs so mindlessly.

Done inhaling her greens, the bandanna-sporting Doctor Dolittle girl gets up, leaving Light to poke at his rice bowl in peace. A few oh-so-mindful bites later, he gets up too. I stick around to polish off my hummus wrap. And to scope out Kirsten Dunst’s outfit: jean shorts, a white T-shirt and red ballet flats. Perfection.

Related Content