By Joseph Tsidulko
By Patrick Range McDonald
By David Futch
By Hillel Aron
By Dennis Romero
By Jill Stewart
By Dennis Romero
By Dennis Romero
Friday, June 30
Sultans of Satire: Middle East Comic Relief 6 features Max Amini, Irish Bahr, Elham Jazab, Aron Kader, Lory Tatoulian and Peter Shahriari — comedians of Arab, Israeli, Persian and Armenian heritage — teaming up for a night of politically and socially edgy humor to ease the Judeo-Arab-Christian-Scientological tensions that plague man. “The problem with the Middle East,” Kader says, “is that the Jews and the Arabs both think they’re God’s chosen people. They’re in the desert! Maybe the people in Hawaii or Samoa are the chosen people — ever think of that?” Club Fais Do-Do, 5257 W. Adams Blvd, L.A.; Fri., June 30, 8 p.m.; $15, $12 students. (310) 559-5544.
Saturday, July 1
Former Sex Pistols guitarist and now local punk hero Steve Jones is hosting a live broadcast of his radio show Jonesy’s Jukebox before a screening of Julien Temple’s The Filth and the Fury, which follows the Pistols’ mere two-year history, from performances by the band to the infamous 1976 Bill Grundy TV interview. (“You dirty sod, you dirty old man!” “You dirty bastard.” “You dirty fucker.” “What a fucking rotter.”) No, watching Sid Vicious falling asleep in a swastika T-shirt during an interview isn’t pretty, but neither is prolonged exposure to Good Charlotte or Linkin Park. So bring an impressionable child, and go to heaven. The Like and the Vacation will also be performing punk covers, but pray they sound nothing like Bananarama doing “No Feelings.” John Anson Ford Amphitheater, 2580 Cahuenga Blvd. East, Hollywood; Sat., July 1, 8 p.m.; $15. (323) 461-3673 or www.lafilmfest.com.
Sunday, July 2
One hot dog is a meal. Ten or more is a trip to the emergency room. But for some human garbage disposals, the challenge of shoving in as many pig intestines as possible is worth the pain just to be crowned wiener of the Hot Dog Eating Contest in Chinatown. Top prize is $500, and it is the Year of the Dog after all. Speeches, ceremonies, dinner at the Golden Dragon restaurant and other outdoor entertainment also take place. 925 N. Broadway, Chinatown; Sun., July 2, 11 a.m.; free (dinner $20). (323) 721-0774.
Cold cuts are no substitute for barbecue, but where else are you gonna cut loose, footloose and kick off your Sunday shoes to the muzak of Kenny Loggins than at the Hollywood Bowl? (Can someone please text message Jim Messina?) Timothy Muffit conducts the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra in a stars ’n’ stripes soundtrack of John Philip Sousa and other indie legends. 2301 N. Highland Ave., Hollywood; Sun.-Tues., July 2-4, 7:30 p.m.; $15-$34. (323) 828-5268.
Monday, July 3
A bit of Rock ’n’ Roll High School trivia: Producer Roger Corman’s original title for the movie was Disco High; Darby Crash can be seen in the Roxy concert scene; and some of the artists first considered to be the film’s musical act were Todd Rundgren, Cheap Trick, Devo and Van Halen. Yes, the punk rock Hard Day’s Night about a bunch of rebellious students, led by underrated thesp P.J. Soles, trying to take over their school with the help of the Ramones will be screened alongside never-before-seen Ramones concert footage from 1978. Plus, a special appearance by Marky Ramone and prizes if you successfully answer Principal Togar’s quiz. And don’t forget to pay your respects at Johnny Ramone’s and Dee Dee Ramone’s memorials. Hollywood Forever Cemetery, 6000 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood; Mon., July 3, 7 p.m.; $10 donation benefits lymphoma and prostate-cancer research. (323) 469-1181. See Music feature.
The Queen Mary takes its rightful throne as one of the premier holiday attractions with a two-day carnival featuring clowns, face painting, games, prizes and food vendors. The Fourth includes an additional kid’s run, Eagles tribute band and disco music while the sky goes snap, crackle and pop over the bay. Queen Mary, 1126 Queens Hwy., Long Beach; Mon., July 3, 10 a.m.-7 p.m.; Tues., July 4, 8 a.m.-9 p.m.; $25.95, $22.95 seniors, $14.95 children. (562) 453-3511.
Tuesday, July 4
Muscle Beach is to July Fourth what the cemetery is to Halloween. There’s no place more patriotic than this annual pageantry of pecs, the Mr. & Mrs. Muscle Beach contest, in which guys and gals in itty-bitty bikinis barely big enough to cover the lower states flex their right to flex their glutes. A parade precedes the finals, in addition to the induction of Bill Grant (Mr. America and Mr. World), Bill Pearl (Mr. America, Mr. USA and Mr. Universe) and Charlie Fautz (competitive bodybuilder) into the Muscle Beach Hall of Fame. Venice Beach Recreation Center, 1800 Ocean Front Walk, Venice; Tues., July 4, 1 p.m. (registration 7:30 a.m.); free ($50 entry fee). (310) 399-2775.
Americafest’s Barbecue Festival. You can lick the barbecue sauce off your fingers while dancing to the Pasadena POPS Orchestra, with soloist Cynthia Sikes, and the Los Angeles debut of The 5 Browns, a family of big-shot Juilliard graduates who’ll simultaneously perform on five Steinway pianos. The evening culminates in a 30-minute pyro show not to be missed unless you’re in a heavy food coma. The Rose Bowl, 1001 Rose Bowl Dr., Pasadena; Tues., July 4, 10 a.m.-9 p.m.; $10, free children under 5. (213) 480-3232.
The freestyle motocross show of flying daredevils flipping 20 feet in the air, the roar of monster trucks named Bounty Hunter and Unnamed Untamed — KABOOM! at the Pomona Fairplex isn’t just a warning, it’s a promise. Plus, the mother of all fireworks displays choreographed to music by Pyro Spectaculars, whose credits include the 2004 Olympics in Athens. 1101 W. McKinley Ave., Pomona; Tues., July 4, 8 p.m.; $12-$19.50, free children 2 & under. (909) 865-3602.
This July Fourth Fireworks Festival & Business Expo organized by the Studio City Chamber of Commerce donates your hard-earned dough to the nonprofit Children of the Night, for which you’ll be rewarded with live music from country & western Cody Bryant and surfin’ cover boys the Beach Toys. It will be a starry night not only in the sky but among the gaggle of soap celebs scheduled to appear. So, who knows? You just might run into Joan Van Ark at the food court or magic show. CBS Studio Center, 4024 Radford Ave., Studio City; Tues., July 4, 5-9 p.m.; $15, $8 children, free under 5. (818) 655-5916.
Salute Los Angeles Day commemorates our city’s first Independence Day celebration in 1847 with historical reenactments; a cannon- and musket-fire ceremony; multicultural performances, including Chinese lion dancers; workshops on pottery, quilting, adobe brick making and even Dutch-oven cooking; and, of course, food and vendor booths. El Pueblo Historical Monument, Olvera Street & 845 N. Alameda St., downtown; Tues., July 4, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.; free. (213) 845-8372.
So the Revolutionary War wasn’t an amicable split. The perpetually losing Brits actually have a reason to celebrate on our Independence Day: InterFootball Day marks the 40th anniversary of England’s triumph over West Germany during the 1966 World Cup. The American Cinemateque screens the documentary Goal! World Cup 1966, as well as the musical Go-Go Mania!, featuring the Beatles, Herman’s Hermits, the Spencer Davis Group and other mop tops, complemented by an English tea party. Spencer Davis, Denny Laine (Moody Blues), Gordon Waller (Peter & Gordon) and others perform live to expats wrapped in the Union Jack hoping for a repeat victory. Egyptian Theater, 6712 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood; Tues., July 4, 4-10 p.m.; $40, $30 seniors & students. www.interfootballday.com.
The Verdugo Hills surrounding the Starlight Bowl will come alive with not only the thunderous claps and flickering lights above but a star-spangled salute by the Jimmy Dorsey Orchestra, Drifters, Crew Cuts, DeMarche Sisters and Mary Lou Metzger. 1249 Lockheed View Dr., Burbank; Tues., July 4, 6 p.m.; $10-$20. (818) 525-3721.
Baked beans under the baking sun and the largest fireworks display in the Valley await at Hansen Dam’s Fourth of July Spectacular. Attractions include swimming, fishing and hiking, not to mention entertainers the Retro-Boomers, Tropical Punch, Stefni Valencia belting out the national anthem, and the host, kickboxing champion William “Blinky” Rodriguez. 11770 Foothill Blvd., Lake View Terrace; Tues., July 4, noon-10 p.m.; free. (818) 899-8087.
Wednesday, July 5
Classical Music on the Pier presented by Santa Monica College’s Performing Arts Center and Music Academy is three concerts in one: The Santa Monica College Orchestra Winds, Los Angeles Flute Orchestra, and Young Musicians Foundation, the second-oldest training orchestra in the country composed of 15- to 25-year-old musicians. Santa Monica Pier, Ocean & Colorado avenues, Santa Monica; Wed., July 5, 7 p.m.; free. (310) 434-3430.
In conjunction with UCLA’s Fowler Museum’s “The Missing Peace: Artists Consider the Dalai Lama” — an exhibit of works contributed by 88 artists, including Laurie Anderson, Richard Avedon and Richard Gere — is filmmaker Mickey Lemle’s 1982 portrait of His Holiness and the Tibetans’ struggle under Chinese occupation, Compassion and Exile: The Story of the 14th Dalai Lama, with a score by Philip Glass. UCLA campus, Westwood; Wed., July 5, noon. (310) 825-4361.
Thursday, July 6
From the season finale of Kathy Griffin: My Life On the D List to the documentary Wrestling with Angels: Playwright Tony Kushner, this year’s Outfest boasts more than 200 films from 25 countries across 10 venues. The opening-night gala includes a screening of Puccini for Beginners, a comedy about a love triangle in New York City starring Gretchen Mol, and continues with family programs, parties, panels, live performances and some good-natured, finger-snapping gang fighting at the West Side Story sing-along. Orpheum Theater, 842 S. Broadway, downtown; Thurs., July 6, 8 p.m.; $50-$150. (213) 480-7065 or www.outfest.org.?