Glamour Queen

IF YOU’VE EVER WITNESSED a 46-year-old drag queen cruising down Santa Monica Boulevard in a motorized wheelchair at high speeds, wearing a bouffant wig and an elegant ball gown, drunk out of her gourd, then you have seen the Goddess Bunny in action.

Born Johnnie Baima, the Goddess Bunny (a.k.a. Sandie Crisp, a.k.a. Miss Sunset Junction) has been handicapped since childhood due to polio. But in spite of a crippling disease and an 18-inch metal rod clamped to her spine — or perhaps because of them — the Goddess has managed to become a cult icon.

She posed nude for an infamous Joel-Peter Witkin photographic reworking of Da Vinci’s Leda and the Swan, appeared in Marilyn Manson’s “The Dope Show” video, and starred in numerous films by underground director John Aes-Nihil, who calls her “the only truly glamorous star left in Hollywood.”

Perhaps her most famous performance, however, is a tap-dance-with-parasol routine caught on tape back when she was nearly starving herself to death. The video clip has since gone viral on the Internet.

One of the Goddess’ secrets to success is her ability to create her own reality. The transvestite superstar claims to have been the personal makeup artist for John “The Dukes of Hazzard” Schneider, Dean “Lois & Clark” Cain and even Vampira. The Goddess will tell you that she hand-crocheted a dress she’s wearing, even though the department-store tag is still attached to it.

She also says that she personally fellated a well-known, odd-looking character actor. “He gave me a ride home,” she recalls. “The next thing I know, he’s buck-naked in front of me. I was like, ‘This is easy.’?”

Currently, the Goddess Bunny is studying to be a bridal consultant. “I’m so glamorous I might as well get paid for it,” she says.

—Dan Kapelovitz