I dont want to do Access Hollywood. Ive already had access to Hollywood.
Ally Sheedy at the Cannes Film Festival when her publicist prematurely tried to end my interview, which was the sole purpose of my trip
Its okay, Im not going to hit you...
Grace Jones, after making me feel her muscle, then boasting that shes as strong as any man
If Jennie gives you any trouble, Ill kick her ass.
Tori Spelling, after inviting me back to the set of Beverly Hills 90210 just days after her co-star Jennie Garth threw a tantrum and demanded that I immediately be escorted out of the Valley-based sound stage because she hadnt been informed that a reporter had been invited to observe
Do you like cottage cheese? Its Breakstone small curd. Its my favorite. You can eat it in your hotel room.
Sarah Jessica Parker, who concluded our five-hour interview by pulling a snack out of her enormous red plaid handbag
Im going to tell your editor that youre a bobcat in the sack.
George Clooney on the totally uninformed, but oddly flattering way he planned to boost my pizzazz factor at a magazine I was working for
We dont have a problem its your editor and my publicist who are creating the problem. So heres the plan: You and I are going to be in charge of the arrangements. Lets meet at Will Rogers State Park. Ill bring lunch. You bring dessert. Ive set aside the whole day. You can talk to me for as long as you like.
Call 1-888-SALT LICK. Order the family-style barbecue and get some extra habanero sauce. Its the best: brisket, sausage, everything in the world. Theyll send it to you wherever you are in America, overnight delivery, on dry ice. Its like 80 bucks. You cant go wrong. Ask for Bridget. Tell her that I told you to call.
Dont shake my hand. I have a cold.
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Avoid them. Id be angry if someone wrote something mean about me, wouldnt you?
One-time journalist Nora Ephron on what to do if you bump into a person youve written about unkindly
Okay, okay. You can use it.
Joel Schumacher, giving in to my entreaty to go on the record with the following quote about why Val Kilmer didnt appear in Batman and Robin: Val got fired. For being an asshole. Thats the real story.