FRIDAY, November 4
“No improv.” That’s a promise from Fest of Sketch producer Lawrin Goulston Salazar. In its fourth year, the F of S — or LAFS, if you prefer — showcases sketch-comedy groups from places you’d expect (here, NYC) and places you may not (Birmingham, Alabama). We’re talking 350 sketches by 33 groups. Unlike those seat-of-their-pants, paperless improv groups, these sketchers — assembled by Lawrin Goulston Salazar, who has probably seen more comedic sketches than anyone else in L.A. — take the time to perfect their craft by writing it all down before the show to make sure it’s actually funny. Lillian Theater, 1076 Lillian Way, Hollywood; Nov. 3-13; all shows $10, five-show pass $40, 10-show pass $65. (323) 463-2942. Full schedule atwww.4LAFS.com.
SATURDAY, November 5
Bogart drank here. So did Chaplin. The historic HollywoodAmerican Legion Post 43 is the site for SAVOR, A Benefit for the Senses, which supports Inside Out Community Arts’ programming for at-risk L.A. teens. This year’s theme is “Holiday in Tinseltown,” and the eclectic entertainment lineup includes Van Dyke Parks, Ice Age Jazztet, comic Louis CK and Friends, and poet Joe Hernandez-Kolski. Fancy food, casino games and drinky-poos make for a boffo affair. American Legion Post 43, 2035 N. Highland Ave., Hollywood; $110, limited benefactor $195. (310) 397-8820.
L.A. has a river? Get out of your car for once and you might notice that beyond the concrete kitty-cat channel gates you see from the freeway, there’s actually water flowing, with grasses and trees and birds and artist-designed gates and bike paths. Two new books describe what all the fuss is about: Down by the River: Friends of the Los Angeles River’s Official Guideby Joe Linton and The River, Book 3, which is poems by Lewis MacAdams. Both authors will read and sign books at Skylight Books, 1818 N. Vermont Ave., Los Feliz; Sat., Nov. 5, 5 p.m.; free. (323) 660-1175.
SUNDAY, November 6
What happens when the Art Deco Society gets together with the Los Angeles Conservancy? You get Moderne to Modern, a classy afternoon featuring a vintage fashion show of “moderne evening wear of the 1930s to modern daywear of the 1960s,” plus a three-course tea. El Rey, 5515 Wilshire Blvd.; Sun., Nov. 6, 1 p.m. tea, 2:30 p.m. fashion show; $35, $15 fashion show only. (310) 659-3326.
From the Sometimes They Write Themselves Department: Hump the Grinder’s Hair Wars: “Hair drama over the edge . . . hair creations and hair performances like you never seen before representing hair entertainers from all across America . . . co-sponsored by Insatiable Pleasures’ Ladies Only Toy Tour.” V20 the Venue, 81 Aquarium Way, Long Beach; Sun., Nov. 6, 6:05 p.m.; $25, $40 VIP. (310) 877-5251 or (800) 838-8100.
Boy, was Keith Richards disappointed when he found out he had to work the same night as Hair Wars. Yep, The Rolling Stones are among us at the Hollywood Bowl, and if you have a ticket (a pricey $63.50 to $454.50 a pop from the box office, not even a scalper) to the sold-out show, you know what to do and where to do it. Pant, pant.
MONDAY, November 7
Today we have a blessed event dubbed Wedrock, a benefit so fab Margaret Cho, Andy Bell, Alan Cumming, Nina Hagen, John Cameron Mitchell, Kelly Osbourne and Yo La Tengo are all showing up. They make for the oddest and coolest assortment of performers in one room we’ve seen in a long while. They’ll gather in the name of Freedom To Marry, a national organization promoting marriage equality. Freedom to register for luggage and dishes for all! Avalon, 1735 Vine St., Hollywood; Mon., Nov. 7, 8 p.m.; $35, $125 VIP. (800) 494-TIXS.
I feel sorry for Liz Phair these days. Not because she sold out and went from being an incisive songwriter to a jiggle-pop chick, but for that horrendous World Series appearance “singing” “God Bless America.” Ouch. Opener Missy Higginsis the one to catch tonight at House of Blues. Higgins is the Australian singer-songwriter who’s been called an “upbeat Fiona Apple,” and she just won a bunch of ARIA Awards (that’s Australia’s Grammy). This gal’s just amazing. House of Blues, 8430 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood; Mon., Nov. 7, 7:30 p.m.; $25. (323) 480-3232.
Psssst: The Stones have today off. Wonder where Mick and Keith will drag their skinny butts tonight. Hmm, hmm, hmm.
TUESDAY, November 8
Women and their infernal rackets invade downtown Los Angeles! We rarely get professional women’s tennis in this town, and here’s a chance to see hotshots Lindsay Davenport, Venus and Serena Williams, Kim Clijsters, Mary Pierce, and many more thwack it out at the WTA Tour Championships, kicking off today and running like mad through Sunday. Staples Center, 11th & Figueroa sts., downtown; Nov. 8-13; $20.50-$75.50. (323) 480-3232.
WEDNESDAY, November 9
This year’s winner of Outfest’s 2005 Grand Jury Award was Susan Kaplan’s documentary Three of Hearts: A Post-Modern Love Story. Here’s the description: “Steven, Sam and Samantha are three young, idealistic people in love . . . with each other.” You get one guess whether or not the “trinogomous” relationship worked. Outfest Wednesdays at the Egyptian Theater, 6712 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood; Wed., Nov. 9, 7 & 9 p.m.; $9. (323) 466-FILM.
THURSDAY, November 10 Zach Galifianakis used to talk about his childhood this way: “I was the only straight kid in an all-gay high school. After school, kids would say to me, ‘Hey, Zach, where are you going — to get some pussy?” Other classic Galifianakisms include, “The only thing I remember about college is how many times my grandmother died,” and “I realize I’m having a hard time growing up and maturing. I realized that the other day in my fort.” Nothing that comes out of the comic’s mouth goes anywhere you think it will. He headlines High Times Magazine’s High Times Comedy Night, which we’re guessing has something to do with High Times, and also features Jason and Randy Sklar. Improv, 8162 Melrose Ave., West Hollywood; Thurs., Nov. 10, call for time; $15, benefits NORML. (323) 651-2583.