FRIDAY, September 23 Didn’t they just do a farewell tour? Like Cher, Kathy Najimy keeps coming back for Mo... Gaffney, that is. The Kathy & Mo Showreturns with Maddie and Syvvie, two alter kockers who take a women’s studies class, and much much mo. L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center’s Renberg Theater, the Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N. McCadden Place, Hollywood; Fri.-Sat., Sept. 23-24, 8 p.m.; $30. (323) 860-7300.SATURDAY, September 24 Okay, so maybe the Grove isn’t exactly Mulberry Street when it comes to Italian-American atmosphere (the lack of bullet holes, for starters). But if host Jimmy Kimmel says it’s a great location for a re-creation of NYC’s San Gennaro Feast, then it must be so. Dubbed the Precious Cheese Feast of San Gennaro Presented by Ralphs — a name that works up a hunger for baked ziti — the fete features food booth after food booth, plus live music, carnival rides and games, fashion shows, grape stomps (shades of Lucy?), street performers and bocce ball. The Grove Dr., (between Beverly Blvd. & Third St.); Fri.-Sun., Sept. 23-25, 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; free. Prima Notte silent auction & fund-raiser Thurs., Sept. 22, 5 p.m.; $100 & $250. (877) 832-1418.It’s a frightening fact that one in 166 children is diagnosed with autism compared to one in 10,000 just 10 years ago. Jerry Seinfeld and Paul Simon lend their star power, with Tom Brokaw hosting, for One Night Only: A Concert for Autism Speaks, an event that will surely have you laughing and crying. Kodak Theater,Hollywood Blvd. & Highland Ave., Hollywood; Sat., Sept. 24, 8 p.m.; tickets start at $100. (213) 480-3232.Wecould all use a good journey of the spirit about now. Alchemy of Dreams, Levantine Festival 2 is a music and dance celebration “from Al-Andalus to the Levant, from the heart of the Middle East to Africa, India and back.” Performers include Suzanne Teng’s Mystic Journey, Prince Diabate, the Naser Musa-Adam del Monte Ensemble and flamenco dancer Laila del Monte. Expect to be lifted into a gently whirling cloud of mystical dance, contemporary Arab, flamenco and Sephardic music. The Ford Amphitheater, 2580 Cahuenga Blvd. East; Sat., Sept. 24, 8 p.m.; $26 & $36. (323) GO 1-FORD.SUNDAY, September 25 “Becoming a member of the eBay community will not only allow you to unlock your financial potential, it will make you a better citizen of the world.” These are the words of eBay powerseller A.C. Dickson, whose “edutainment” seminar on selling crap over your computer darn nearly made me quit the blurbology racket and become a convert. A.C. Dickson: eBay Power Selleris part performance art, part motivational seminar delivered with hand gestures and exhaustive literature that suggest this enthusiastic young man may well be completely insane. Highways, 1651 18th St., Santa Monica; Sun., Sept. 25, 7:30 p.m.; $15. (310) 453-1755.K-EARTH 101 and KLSX 97.1 throw a big Hurricane Katrina Benefit Concert with the Beach Boys, Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, Dick Dale (with his 13-year-old son Jimmy, who’s amazing), Mary Wilson and the Surfaris. Tickets are only $40. Even if you’ve already given money, we need to get used to giving even more, folks. Greek Theater, Griffith Park; Sun., Sept. 25, $40, $100 VIP packages available. (213) 480-3232.MONDAY, September 26 As an Italian-American growing up in New York City, young Alphonso Joseph D’Abruzzo would play bocce ball until dark in Little Italy with pals Enzo and Carlo. When they lost their ball, they’d steal a zeppole from a local cart. One day a famous director saw the boys rolling the dried-up zeppole down the bocce court and discovered a star. Don’t look for actor Alan Alda at the San Grove-ero Feast. He’s in town to promote his new autobiography Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I’ve Learned. Book Soup, 8818 Sunset Blvd.,West Holly-wood; Mon., Sept. 26, 7 p.m.; free with ticket reserved at www.booksoup.com (and book). (310) 659-3110. TUESDAY, September 27 After last week’s Taste of Santa Monica, it’s time for A Taste of Old Pasadena(smoggier, yet more refined). It’s held on a Tuesday evening to ensure that the rest of the City of Los Angeles will be too tired after work to make the drive. But this year, we’re giving fair warning. So let’s all carpool and come in droves for samplings from some 50 P-town (they love it when you say that) restaurants. Old Pasadena; Tues., Sept. 27, 5:30-9 p.m.; $25. (800) 888-8910., Ext. 2005.WEDNESDAY, September 28 When we called to find out the showtime for Christopher Titus’ Fifth Annual End of the World Tour, we weren’t expecting Christopher Titus himself to call us back, fol-lowed by another call from Mrs. Christopher Titus. The guy had his own TV series — and a funny one — for chrissakes! The new show covers war, terrorism, racism, Catholics, Terry Schiavo — you know, all that funny stuff. And if it’s as inspired as his previous show Norman Rockwell is Bleeding, it may lead to another brave and underappreciated TV sitcom. The Egyptian Arena Theater, 1625 N. Las Palmas Ave., Hollywood; Sept. 28-29, 8 p.m.; $25. (818) 461-8142 or www.christophertitus.com. Normally we’d refrain from recommending plays that are written, rehearsed and produced in 24 hours. But when the press release says “100 percent of our ticket sales... will be donated to Hurricane Katrina disaster relief,” we’re a sucker. So fear not The 24s: All-Star Edition. And there’s a free open bar with your ticket, so how bad could it be? The Vineland Theater, 6850 Vineland Ave., Building F, North Hollywood; Wed., Sept. 28, 7:30 p.m.; $20. (818) 554-1822 or www.The24s.com. THURSDAY, September 29 Neil Diamondor Styx? “Longfellow Serenade” or “Come Sail Away”? “Kentucky Woman” or “Blue Collar Man”? “Solitary Man” or “Too Much Time on My Hands”? This is getting nauseating. See Music Picks. Neil Diamond at Staples Center, 11th & Figueroa sts., downtown; Thurs.-Fri., Sept. 29-30; Sat.-Sun., Oct. 1-2, 8 p.m.; $55 and $95. (213) 480-3232. Styx at the Wiltern, Wilshire Blvd. & Western Ave.; Thurs., Sept. 29, 8 p.m.; $40 and $50. (213) 380-5005.