My Way or the Highway
Get Me to the Airport On Time
—Lee Miller, writer-director
Look It Up Yourself ANONYMOUS: From midcity you’d go — what’s that street? — it’s one of the best shortcuts in L.A. in general. It really moves quickly from Third to Venice. Can’t think of the fuckin’ name. Starts with an “H.” Lemme just draw you a map. (Starts to scribble.) L.A. WEEKLY: No, wait, I need words. Why can’t you just fuckin’ use the map? Because it’s an interview. I need you to describe . . . The thing about this shortcut is that if traffic is moving, and you’re not already annoyed enough, you can stop at the Costco on La Cienega and Rodeo and then you’d be really annoyed. You’d be in the right state of mind for the airport. The street: What’s the name? Fuck if I know. I’ll think of it though. (Answer: Hauser. Then right on Venice. Left on La Cienega to airport.) Road Tested “I’ve been in the ground transportation industry for 20 years — once a customer had us stop to get pills for her dog and it turned out to be a stuffed animal in a cage — anyway, one lady showed me this shortcut once into the city from LAX. The 405 north to National Boulevard and get off. Head east to Overland, go north to Pico, then head east on Pico into Beverly Hills. But there’s no getting around bad traffic, no magic pill. At some point during the day, you’re gonna be in bumper-to-bumper. Real shortcuts? That’s just urban legend.”
—Paul, SuperShuttle dispatch/driver
As for me, I’ve driven to LAX dozens of times and I don’t think I’ve ever gone the exact same way twice. But I haven’t missed a flight yet.
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