Thrilla on Third

In the nearly 14 years that Cynthia Hirsch has owned and run Cynthia's restaurant on Third Street, she's always been known as an eccentric. If some people have found her antics endearing - flirting with male diners and occasionally yelling at customers, calling women "princess" in tones not always sincere - others have thought her intrusive and downright rude. But in the last two weeks, the balance of opinion has tipped decidedly toward the rude end of the scale. On January 8, a rainy Saturday night, Hirsch indulged in a remarkable tirade, reports of which - an e-mail chronicling the scene has shot across town - have tapped an undercurrent of resentment against her. Outraged customers once humiliated by Hirsch have come out of the woodwork to commiserate. Everyone from managers at Paramount to editors at Bon Appétitto the gossip blogger at LA.com have joined the fray. The story is this: A group of 11 friends in their early 30s had gathered at Cynthia's for the birthday dinner of Lorie Juckett, an assistant at Paramount. One of the guests, Jodi Teitelman, ordered the lamb special. According to Teitelman, her lamb came out of the kitchen room temperature, and she asked for the order to be redone. The waitress reluctantly took the plate back into the kitchen, and returned with the same piece of lamb reheated. Teitelman asked the waitress to remove the item from the bill. A few minutes later, Teitelman says, she turned in her seat to see what she describes as a short, stocky middle-aged woman in leather pants standing in the middle of the restaurant, beckoning her with a crooked finger. It was Hirsch. "She gets in my face," Teitelman says, "And she says, ‘Is there a problem here?' I said, ‘My food was cold, I sent it back.' She said, ‘There was nothing wrong with your food. You're an asshole.' Hirsch then told Teitelman that she had to leave the restaurant. "I was just stunned," Teitelman says. "It was just horrible." Two friends came to Teitelman's defense. One, Joe Giadone, approached Hirsch and told her she'd been hurtful, to which he says Hirsch replied, "Your friend's a fucking cow!" The entire restaurant, says Giadone, turned around and was looking at them. "I've been in business for 20 years and you'll never be able to affect me," Hirsch went on. "Get the fuck out of my restaurant." Teitelman's other friend, Marina Garcia, wasn't so lucky. After Hirsch repeated the cow comment, Garcia says, the restaurateur then threw a napkin in her face. (Juckett, Giadone and Teitelman corroborate this.) Garcia admits that she then called Hirsch a "tyrannical cunt" and a bitch before being dragged out of the restaurant by members of her party. By that time, the bill had come - $527, including a $35 cake-cutting fee. The following Monday, Giadone sent out the e-mail, titled "Cynthia's - The WORST Restaurant experience EVER!!" and within days it had criss-crossed L.A. By the 19th, an item had gone up on LA.com. Heather Johns, an editor at Bon Appétit magazine, received the e-mail and on the strength of it canceled a company lunch at Cynthia's. It made its way to the L.A. editor of Zagat. When people looked around the Web for more on Hirsch, they found postings by irate diners. "Cynthia is INCREDIBLY RUDE and INSULTING," begins a review prominently displayed on Citysearch. It goes on to describe a dinner party torn asunder when Hirsch approached a party of four to demand that they finish their meal because she wanted their table back. On Chowhound.com, the foodie chat site, a man recounted Cynthia sitting uninvited at his table, flirting with one friend while insulting the others. Meanwhile, more horror stories were pouring into Giadone's inbox. Some of them reiterated the standard complaints - Hirsch was rude, she bragged about her celebrity clientele. There were several stories about customers who wanted to order just dessert, even on off-nights or when the restaurant was empty, and consistently incurred her wrath. Lauren and Jesse, who requested their last names not be used and who had continued to patronize the restaurant despite previous intriguing experiences with Hirsch, went to Cynthia's to celebrate their engagement with a bottle of champagne and some of the renowned blackberry cobbler. Hirsch was effusive, congratulating and hugging them, says Lauren, but when they told her they only wanted dessert and champagne, she blew up, yelling, "You're taking up my time for dessert? Get the fuck out of my restaurant! This is not Marie Callender's!" Hirsch opened the door and ushered them out. "I don't ever want to see you again!" On Friday we reached Hirsch on the phone at her restaurant to discuss the e-mail and the other allegations. Her initial reaction was curt. "I'm not interested at all in talking to you," she said, and hung up the phone. We called back, and she was somewhat more expansive. "I've been in business for 20 years, I don't need to defend myself over one thing," Hirsch said. "I'm sick to death of people who come in here who think they're going to hang out with somebody famous and when we don't give them the right amount of attention." Hirsch went on to claim that her interaction with Teitelman didn't go down the way it's portrayed in the e-mail: "She left out the part where she threw a martini at me. And she also left out the part when I went over to say ‘I'm sorry the lamb wasn't up to par, but if you'd like I can get you something else.' And then she gave me about a 15-minute diatribe about how she was going to ruin my restaurant because I didn't come to her table all night." (Teitelman says that is all false. "She flat-out full-on lied.") Hirsch further claimed that she has the entire incident on tape, as captured by the restaurant's security cameras. She also claimed her business has not declined but improved since the e-mail went out. "I have never had better business. It's usually slow after the first night of the year. It has been packed every night." After more comments on l'affaire Teitelman, she said, "Quite frankly, I'm sick of defending myself. I don't care," and hung up the phone again. We called a third time, and Hirsch yelled into the phone: "Write whatever you like. I don't care. Just remember?: lawsuits!" — James Verini