Matthew Young, Griffin’s boyfriend, recounts outings with Wilder’s children, who he says talked down to Griffin. "We’d take them to the aquarium in Long Beach, or to the Santa Monica Pier," Young says. Having grown up in Santa Monica, and being the nephew of Alan Young, the president of the Boys & Girls Club, Young sees Carlthorp as emblematic of an old-boy network. He thinks Griffin paid too heavy a price for her entanglements with children of privilege. "She would come home in tears and was just a wreck," he says. "Like she wasn’t good enough for them. I’d tell her, ‘Baby, they’re setting you up to fail.’ But she couldn’t see starting over again."
Others recall Griffin fondly, but after she sued Carlthorp it was if she had never made a true friend. Kelly Anderson is the mother of two boys to whom Griffin grew close as their nanny. One still calls Griffin when he is home from boarding school. "My children adore Ericka and she adores them, but I’ve been a Carlthorp parent for 10 years and I have a great sense of loyalty to the school," Anderson says. "I’m not saying I don’t believe her [allegations], but I don’t want to say anything that suggests the school is insensitive to people of color."
Barbara Lovitt is the mother of a Carlthorp student who sympathized with Griffin after she was criticized by Sable Worthy and friends. According to Griffin, Lovitt’s daughter was upset over the matter. "My daughter is a kind person, and she wanted to reach out to Ericka," Lovitt says. "I just don’t want to say anything critical of the school, or anything positive about Ericka that can be taken as critical of the school."
Even the Spielbergs, who adopted two African-American children, backed away, though they thought enough to invite Griffin and her mother to the bar mitzvah of their son and the bat mitzvah of their daughter, to whom Griffin talks on a regular basis. They would not comment for this story. "Considering who they are, they are very down-to-earth people," says Marks, who thinks teachers at the school were jealous of her daughter’s closeness to the Spielberg children. "But Ericka needs to understand the difference between employers and friends and fair-weather friends."
Griffin’s aunt Julie Ware has been a part of the Santa Monica community for years. Because of the fallout at Carlthorp, she and her husband, Bernard Ware, a lawyer and a former board member at the Boys & Girls Club, have withdrawn from the social scene. "How does a school promote a young woman from teacher’s aide all the way to athletic director, then tear her down?" Ware says. "Ericka felt comfortable enough with Dee Menzies to speak up when she had a problem. Now she has been scorned. Carlthorp is like a puppet for rich families, and when their children complain, they call the school and tell it what to do. If they want to close their eyes to problems at that school, that is their problem. Sure, every school wants to appear diverse, but to Ericka, this was about more than appearance. This was her chance to get her life right."
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Griffin sat alone in the courtroom of Los Angeles judge Ronald Sohigian last week, hoping to salvage her lawsuit, which has been dismissed by her former attorney, Loyst Fletcher. He, too, had seen the writing on the wall. Carlthorp intended to destroy Griffin’s character, Fletcher explains. She didn’t stand a chance at trial, he says. "It’ll be 30 people versus one. Carlthorp will call her a liar, and it’ll come down to who do you believe. Witnesses will get amnesia, then the school will throw in some meaningless allegations to confuse the jury, including her criminal conviction, which can be explained. Then there’s no telling what 12 people will think. Maybe they won’t like the way she looks. The fact is, the truth does not matter. It’s perception that counts."
So last September, when Carlthorp offered to settle the case for $25,000 in exchange for confidentiality and Griffin refused, Fletcher dismissed the case. Now, after three hours of waiting, when Griffin goes before the judge, her voice is shaking. Sohigian tells her she must file a motion by January 18 to set aside the dismissal, which means she probably needs a new lawyer. Griffin leaves the courtroom and breaks down in tears.
She may need a lawyer for other reasons. Karasik, a partner with Weston Benshoof Rochefort Rubalcava & MacCuish, has threatened her with damages for breach of a settlement agreement that is in dispute. "Several months ago, the parties reached a settlement agreement whereby Ms. Griffin agreed to dismiss her action with prejudice, and also agreed to make no disparaging comments about Carlthorp School or its faculty or staff," Karasik writes in response to inquiries by the Weekly. "But Ms. Griffin to date has not signed the document." Fletcher, who after he dismissed the lawsuit ignored a written request by Griffin to set aside the dismissal, said no such agreement exists. "They’re just blowing smoke," he says. "You can’t have an agreement that the plaintiff has not signed."
