Valhalla on a Tank of Gas

But none of that has anything to do with why I’ve driven the 101 to San Francisco and back four times in the last five weeks. Yes, I have hauled on the order of 500 pounds of cargo on each leg of these excursions. And I made every transit using less than a single tank of gas. But the 440 miles covered each way offer a sublimely unparalleled aesthetic experience. The border of my El Camino window functions as a frame that aids in my grasping the entirety of the landscape. The sheer magnitude and volume of the topographic contours become apparent as I progress, enthralled all the while as the event horizon unfolds.

On a good night, one can pre-visualize the unbroken line and perfect arcs required to negotiate the route with the least amount of effort. Working the banks of the roadway and picking the correct gear ratios means that you are able to punch down the Gaviota pass without ever touching the brakes. Ditto for the Grapevine, except that is a landscape of another narrative form. A great longitudinal track, combined with unbroken concentration and avoidance of the temptation to pull over, produces an amalgamation with the horizontality of it all and an elevation of one’s ability to spatially conceive.

At present I’m lost in the oblivion of absolute transit, between here and there, neither coming nor simultaneously going. The manic disassociative state induced by long-haul motoring generates morphing image perspectives of exquisite transcendence. Interstate graphics and architecture already meant to be experienced at an accelerated pace become layered upon themselves until they are high-velocity Gestamkunstwerk. Nanoseconds of sensory overload expand into hours. A blurring together of: illuminated icons wrought from vacuformed Plexiglas Americana/ Raymond Loewy Shells/ lacquered Tony Scott femmes populating gas-town convenience-store counters/ Herbert Bayer Bauhaus ARCO glyphs/ In-N-Out disposable beverage cups with “JOHN 3:16” printed on the bottom inside rims/ Chevron Hallmark flat-roof pedestal canopies/ Next Available Service 36 Miles road signs/ Burger King My Name Is _____ badges/ 2,156 SPEEDING TICKETS WERE ISSUED HERE LAST YEAR billboards/ golden arches with Tony Hawk Happy Meals . . . All coming. At/ by/ past/ from side to side/ over you. Just as. Your means of transportation is piercing sleek holes in the wind. Drafting the slipstream found behind the rigs of fast freight truckers. Possession of a radar jammer is a felony, but the use of a laser-jamming device is legal and prudent. Why call Valhalla collect? When you can be. On the way there now. At ninety-five-point-three-three-three feet per second. Padre Serra had only a mule. I’ve got many horses.