Urban Myths of 420 Origins
By Michael Goldstein
Black Lungs in Los Angeles
By Dennis Romero
Dino Zaffina FAIL
By Sarah Fenske
Democratic Schism Over Awful Schools
By Matthew Mullins
By Patrick Range McDonald
L.A.'s Political Scene
By LA Weekly
Los Angeles Crime Blotter
L.A. River Surfer Spotted
By Simone Wilson
City Council Websites: Number of Hits This Year
1. District 3, Dennis Zine: 190,419
2. District 13, Eric Garcetti: 183,041
3. District 15, Janice Hahn: 164,268
4. District 9, Jan Perry: 157,744
5. District 14, Antonio Villaraigosa: 149,929
6. District 1, Ed Reyes: 143,330
7. District 7, Alex Padilla: 139,227
8. District 4, Tom LaBonge: 136,639
9. District 5, Jack Weiss: 133,859
10. District 8, Bernard Parks: 129,941
11. District 11, Cindy Miscikowski: 123,643
12. District 6, Tony Cardenas: 113,153
13. District 2,Wendy Greuel: 102,023
14. District 10, Martin Ludlow: 96,811
15. District 12, Greg Smith: 79,226
Real Names of Classified Concepts in the Military Planning Document “Air Force 2025”
No. 900481: Destructo Swarmbots
No. 200015: Distortion Field Projector
No. 200023: Surveillance Swarm
No. 900258: Oxygen Sucker
No. 900299: Hunter-Killer Attack Platform
No. 900336: Cloaking
No. 900364: Bionic Eye
No. 900522: Space-Based A.I.-Driven Intelligence Master Mind System
No. 900288: Swarms of Micro-Machines
And INCAPACATTACK: The Strings of the Puppet Master
6 Visiting-Mom Faux Pas
1 Picking a fight with the guard at the Museum of Tolerance.
2 Bargaining for merchandise at expensive Westside art gallery.
3 Wearing all her jewelry (otherwise nude) into mineral pool at Beverly Hot Springs, then having to be told three times to be quiet before being threatened with removal.
4 Bargaining for merchandise at low-rent Eastside garage sale — but not enough, and then complaining about it all afternoon.
5 Talking loudly through Lost in Translation, exclaiming “Kampai!” and high-fiving her husband with each appearance of Mt. Fuji, which they had visited.
6 Falling asleep on the couch during my Rosh Hashanah dinner party. (“Dude, my grandmother does that,” said a guest.)
It’s a Matt Matt Matt Matt Matt Matt Matt World!
Matt Drudge, author of the highly influential Drudge Report, www.drudgereport.com
Matt Haughey, creator and administrator of the highly influential collaborative blog Metafilter, www.metafilter.com
Matt Welch, highly influential libertarian-leaning journalist and blogger
Matt Wright, who maintains Matt’s Script Archive, providing free CGI scripts to the Web community since 1995, and, according to Google, is the most popular Matt on the Internet
Matthew Barney, artist and filmmaker
Matt Groening, creator of The Simpsonsand Futurama. Enough said
Matt Damon, Matt Damon
Hands Down the Single Coolest Page on the Internet
A 360-degree panorama from Mount Everest summit—Judith Lewis
10 Things To Do Before I Die
1 Base jump off Jesus statue in Rio de Janeiro
2 Skydive while on fire
3 Streak at a soccer game
4 Drive a car off a cliff
5 Be cryogenically frozen
6 Moon a live news camera
7 Make and swim in a pool of Jell-O
8 Tie air balloons to a lawn chair and fly
9 Put butt cheeks in wet cement
10 Break out of prison
—Cal Christie, age 14
Top Affirmations of 2003
3 That’s right.
4 That’s what I’m talkin’ about.
5 You see that?
6 That’s what I’m sayin’.
9 Fuckin’ A.
10 Fuckin’ Amen.
1 Triple anal missionary
2 Double reverse gangbang
3 Covina wallbanger
4 Dry hump bukkake
5 Stovetop stuffing
6 Eunuch gloryhole clusterfuck
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