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Goat for It 

Edited by Kateri Butler

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Lord knows there are plenty of old goats in the art world — not that we’re mentioning any names — but none of them are as well-behaved as CLARK, a real live goat who was the subject of his very own multimedia art exhibit, “CAPRUS REX: NEW ICONS,” curated by his human companion, MICHELLE TRITTEN, at EASTSIDE STUDIOS (the casting facility which has been presenting an impressive lineup of local artists recently). There were many lovingly rendered interpretations of Clark: drinking a beer and smoking, on his hind legs, as a subject of van Gogh. Evidently goats induce exhibitionism in the ladies, some of whom wasted no time putting on their Tritten-designed Clark undies and showing ’em off. The hijinks continued when former Pikme-up proprietor JERRY McKENNA took to go-go dancing on a coffee table and swinging on a chandelier — or maybe that was just to get around all the chairs lined up along the walls. Clark himself was on hand (make that hoof) giving a red-carpet greeting to guests including songstress SEAN DE LEAR, composer VINZULA KARA, osseus labyrint’s HANNAH SIM, Fabulous Monster TIM OTTMAN, writer LUIS BAUZ, performance artist JOHN FLECK, Cacophonist BOB MOSS, corset designer SUMMER PETERSON, puppeteer MARCEL DU JOUR, artist BARRY MORSE and magician CHRISTOPHER WONDER. Didn’t seem that anything was getting Clark’s goat that night: He wandered freely, didn’t nibble and remained laid-back when a couple of cops dropped by to check out the scene. You could say he was a real goat getter.

—Marcus Kuiland-Nazario

PANTY LINE

It’s survival of the hippest when it comes to nightclubs, especially in a world that sees It-spot status come and go faster than you can say, “I’m on the list.” Sticking around a year, never mind five or more, is quite a feat. The CADILLAC CLUB celebrated its sixth anniversary with a fast-and-loose bash at GOLDFINGERS. Some advertised groups such as the Flash Express never showed, and although bartender/drummer GREG GORDON was pouring one on, his band, the Nervous Return, didn’t play either. Still, things got wild onstage, especially when MOTOCHRIST, featuring C.C.’s creator RICKY VODKA on bass, lived up to their party-hearty rep chugging shots and telling bad jokes. A few nights later, decadent danceteria BAR SINISTER marked half a decade in business with its annual PANTY PARTY. Ghoulie glamsters were given free G-strings emblazoned with the club’s logo (on the crotch, natch) while club queen TEQUILA MOCKINGBIRD, artist MAXINE MILLER, singer F, Imperial Butt Wizard PAUL K. and an outlandish assortment of porn stars, Gwar-garbed giants, flying nuns and white-faced zombies caught performances by THE SISTERS OF PERPETUAL INDULGENCE (L.A.), PURR MACHINE (featuring former Caterwaul singer BETSY MARTIN and Kommunity FK bassist KEVIN KIPNIS ) and electro-rockers NEW RISING SON, whose singer claims to be the offspring of Charlie Manson. That’s something to brag about.

—Lina Lecaro

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WELCOME TO THE TRANNYDOME

Several hundred sweaty art swingers, trannies and trannie chasers turned out for HOT RODS N’ HOT PANTS, a daylong fund-raiser for TRANNY FEST, a biannual San Francisco film festival. The geodesic dome–shaped Mount Washington home of FRITZ HAEG, renamed TRANNYDOME for the occasion, boasted an indoor stage area where performance poet MARCUS RENE VAN, dance group JANET PANTS DANS THEATER, hip-hopper DEADLEE and techno-disco queen MISS YO tread the boards for short sets. The recently reunited SHIMS tore into a hard-charging version of BTO’s “You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet” before a raucous crowd that included Tranny Fest co-directors CHRISTOPHER LEE and AL AUSTIN, Outfest’s SHARI FRILOT, model JENNY SHIMIZU, actor GUINEVERE TURNER and artist
REX SAIZ. Between performances, MC CHE’LA DEMUIR encouraged bidding in the silent auction for paintings, photographs and videos donated by artists including CATHY OPIE, LUCAS MICHAEL, EVE FOWLER, DEAN SAMESHIMA, ANNA SEW HOY and MATT GREENE. A bazaar featuring items such as unisex G-strings and baseball caps, many of which featured transgender pride slogans, was set up in the garage, while outside the house attendees munched hot dogs and tit cakes (cupcakes with frosting nipples) and drank ample quantities of beer. One neighbor did gripe about the excess traffic generated by Hot Rods N’ Hot Pants. But no one was complaining about the daisy dukes.

—Sandra Ross

BOOB TUBE LUBE

After more than two weeks, you’d think the TELEVISION CRITICS ASSOCIATION press-tour attendees would be sick of meet-and-greets with open bars and prime-rib carving stations. Not! The NBC PRESS TOUR ALL STAR CASINO at HOLLYWOOD & HIGHLAND was packed with journalists slurping up and chowing down and stars looking to plug the fall lineup. Talk about a match made in heaven. Bored NBC staffers shadowed the talent — JAMES CAAN, VANESSA MARCIL, NIKKI COX, RENA SOFER, COLIN FERGUSON, TRACY MORGAN, CHRISTINE BARANSKI, KATHY GRIFFIN, ROB LOWE — holding signs so their charges could easily be spotted, even from across the blackjack tables. Somehow, it seemed less a sucker bet to drop a wad of chips on 21 than on the possibility of some of those new fall shows lasting through winter. Besides all the prime-time pooh-bahs, JAY LENO and CONAN O’BRIEN showed up, as did MSNBC’s house crank JOE SCARBOROUGH and Access Hollywood’s NANCY O’DELL and PAT O’BRIEN. The bigger the star, the larger the semicircle of journalists around them, but, of course, with the TCA crew, it was NBC entertainment prez JEFF ZUCKER who boasted the biggest semicircle of all. But maybe it was just his periwinkle sweater that made him stand out from all the monochromatic Prada. Bravo’s newest reality star, JAMES from the gay dating show Boy Meets Boy, had his own semicircle going, with two Canadian reporters grousing that TV Guide’s MATT ROUSH was spending too much time fawning over the Boy, who noted that he “didn’t learn a whole lot” about himself during his TV gig. Imagine that.

—Christopher Lisotta

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