White Lace and Health Insurance

Nevertheless, we paid close attention in 2001 when measure AB 25 was introduced by San Francisco Assemblywoman Carole Migden. Whereas the 1999 act did little more than set up a state registry and provide hospital visitation rights, AB 25, passed into law by Governor Davis on October 15, provided a host of economic and legal rights and benefits to domestic partners — inheritance rights, the right of step-parent adoption, the right to sue for wrongful death. Shortly thereafter, the fateful day came: My best-beloved turned to me and asked, “Will you go to the notary public with me?” The decision was a practical one. Our “ceremony” consisted of mutually holding the envelope as we put our application in the mailbox, then hosting a wedding feast at Ciudad.

This Saturday, my 52-year-old brother will marry the woman he has loved for 20 years and lived with for the past 13. I don’t doubt that I’ll shed a tear or two — it gets me every time I hear his stepdaughter’s children call him “Grandpa.” Still, Laurel and I will need to guard against sudden displays of affection; heaven forbid I should plant a big wet one on her in a moment of, yes, passion and, yes, utter and complete devotion — since I know another brother will be shooting me poison darts and blocking his young daughter’s gaze.

Canada will likely need to brace itself for a northern trek of gays and lesbians, who will enter into contracts of dubious merit back in their native country — it remains unclear whether under current treaties between the U.S. and Canada same-sex marriages authorized north of the border will be recognized in the States. On neither side of the border, however, will a license assure us simpler lives. The validity we seek is still decades away. Whether I am married, registered as a domestic partner or have entered into a civil union, I will still have to explain who I am to the guy who comes out to read our gas meter, to the kind but confused health-insurance customer-service rep at the other end of the telephone line. It might help my mother-in-law, Tamiko, if she could introduce me as Laurel’s wife, since “daughter-in-law” inevitably leads to confusion for those who know she doesn’t have a son. For now, I’m happy with her current resolve of introducing me as her daughter alongside Laurel, and letting the poor saps blink and brood over why I don’t look Asian.