The 2nd Annual List Issue

CEO Howard G. Phanstiel's 2001 earnings: $1,431,039; stock value: $1,181,251.

07. Health Net Inc.

CEO Jay M. Gellert's 2001 earnings: $757,487; stock value: $11,171,250.

—Jennifer Price

From 2001 annual reports to shareholders, available atwww.sec.gov/edgar.shtml. Information on CEOs of the major private health-insurance companies operating in Southern California — Bruce Bodaken of Blue Shield of California, David M. Lawrence (outgoing) of Kaiser Foundation Health Plan, Howard E. Davis of Universal Care — is not readily available.

Thirteen Ways of Looking at a "Private" Malibu Beach

AMID THE HIGHLY PUBLICIZED, LAWYERED-UP BATTLES BY THE city of Malibu, David Geffen and his neighbors to block the creation of public access to Malibu's beaches (very big houses now wall off 20 of 27 miles), it's far less well-known that 1) the public still owns these beaches, below the high-tide line, and 2) there are 13 public-access paths to them. (That's just 130 paths short of the Coastal Commission Plan's goal of one path every 1,000 feet.) So go and enjoy! Note that most of the gates close at sunset. And please — in light of homeowners' fears for their security and hygiene as well as for our safety — do be careful not to burglarize, drown, defecate or get hit by a car.

FROM EAST TO WEST:

1. BIG ROCK BEACH #1

Between 19958 and 20000 PCH. Just west of Big Rock Road; park on north side of PCH.

2. BIG ROCK BEACH #2

Between 20338 and Moonshadows on PCH. Closed due to storm damage — not for long, we hope.

3. CARBON BEACH

Zonker Harris Access Way, between 22664 and Windsail on PCH. As close as you can get for the three miles of Carbon, La Costa and Las Flores beaches to the east. Ignore the "private beach" signs — they're wrong.

4. MALIBU BEACH (MALIBU COLONY)

Enter at Surfrider Beach (Cross Creek Road off PCH, at the Civic Center). There's no access through the gated and guarded fortress of Malibu Colony, but the path from the Surfrider Beach parking lot leads right to the Colony's eastern edge. Just duck under the fence and ignore all the inaccurate "private beach" signs.

5. AMARILLO BEACH

Between 24434 and 24436 Malibu Road (turn on Webb Way off PCH). More "private beach" signs all along these Malibu Road beaches. Downright antisocial.

6. PUERCO BEACH #1

Between 24572 and 24604 Malibu Road.

7. PUERCO BEACH #2

Just west of 24712 Malibu Road.

8. PUERCO BEACH #3

Between 25116 and 25120 Malibu Road.

9. PUERCO BEACH #4

Just west of 25446 Malibu Road — west end of the road.

10. ESCONDIDO BEACH #1

Small gap between Malibu Cove Colony Drive and Escondido Beach Road (east of Geoffrey's). Hard to find. Tucked behind a bus stop. Park on PCH (beach side) and walk down.

11. ESCONDIDO BEACH #2

Between 27400 and 27420 PCH (west of Geoffrey's). The "coastal access" sign points right to it — with a pullout for two cars. A long, fun staircase.

12. BROAD BEACH #1

Between 31138 and 31202 Broad Beach Road (turn off PCH at Trancas Canyon). Broad Beach residents have posted signs to tell you that the private beach extends 30 to 70 feet out from the signs — which, if true, would put the average high-tide line in the middle of the ocean. Just stick to the moist sand — and you can tell that to the private security guards who patrol the beach and disseminate this misinformation on Labor Day and other holidays.

13. BROAD BEACH #2

Between 31340 and 31346 Broad Beach Road. In exchange for development permits, one out of every three or four Broad Beach homeowners have actually granted public access to parts of their beachfront above the high-tide line. (If only there were signs posted to tell us where these places are.)

—Jennifer Price

If you really want to know where property owners on all these beaches have agreed to let us sit on the dry sand, check out the maps at the Coastal Commission Web site.

8 Great Recipes for a Guaranteed Hangover

A Missionary's Downfall and two bowls of party mix at Tiki Ti in Los Feliz. The mint sprig disguises the force of this sucker. Refreshing? More like comatose.

Buckets of chips and salsa, strawberry margaritas and a shot of Cuervo at El Coyote on Beverly. Never ever actually order a meal, it'll only make it worse.

An Alaskan Oil Spill shot (various clear liqueurs w/ Jägermeister floated on top) at the Shack on Wilshire in Santa Monica. You might not have the wherewithal to order a backup. Or keep anything down at your 3 a.m. breakfast.

A Scorpion Bowl, followed by Tsingtaos at Hop Louie's in Chinatown. Cigarette smoke from neighbor's booth will stimulate the nausea.

Free-flowing happy-hour cider, washing down a fried-veggie sampler at Barney's Beanery. Even Janis' last meal didn't taste this good going down.

A Laughing Hyena (SoCo, Malibu rum and cranberry) just about anywhere, but especially at the Bigfoot Lodge in Atwater. Thankfully, Del Taco, the best fast-food booze-chaser around, is right up the street.

Every damn tiki drink at Bahooka in Rosemead. Lacking the finesse of their compatriots at Tiki Ti but just as potent; order plenty of ribs — you're gonna need 'em.

A White Russian and a Melonball, in tandem, at Dragonfly in Hollywood. All right, I admit — you're in deep shit anywhere you choose to mix these. I'm not sure why I did it, and frankly I don't care. All I know is I was bedridden for two days. And I've never looked a bottle of Midori in the eye since.