Nuts to You

--MARCUS KUILAND-NAZARIO

NUNSEXMONKACOUSTIC

The folks from RETAIL SLUT, along with mostest-hostess TEQUILA MOCKINGBIRD, got the buzz going on their new BLOODY SUNDAY "punk cocktail club" at BOARDNER'S, which features DJ MARK SPLATTER as well as live shows on the back patio, with a performance by NINA HAGEN. But the Teutonic diva seems to have gone all Hare Krishna, surprising many of her fans with an acoustic set. Clad in a stunning black sari, with a rhinestone bindiin place over her third eye, Hagen sat on an Oriental carpet, reading poetry, quoting Kurt Cobain, and chanting while playing harmonium along with an eight-piece band of drummers and guitarists. Even more shocking, most of the audience -- a strange mix of Mohawked punks, crunchy granola/yoga devotees, and goth boys in full makeup and minidresses -- sat quietly cross-legged on the patio floor during her set. Among those not deigning to dirty their finery were Bad Brains singer HR, bon vivant TOMMY CHIFFON, artists NATASHA VETLUGIN and KELLY MORSE of Skellramics, and practically the entire staff of the newly reopened piercing emporium Thirteen BC. During a belly dance by EUROPA, Hagen graciously greeted her public by the side of the stage. After the show, members of the IMPERIAL BUTT WIZARDS and CUSTOM MADE SCARE were hanging out at the bar, where celebutante Mistresses SABRINA BELLADONNA and PERSEPHONE, as well as a bevy of stringently corseted beauties, were holding court. Can you say "Dom yo ho, renge kyo?"

--PLEASANT GEHMAN