Why Not to Write About a Supreme Master of the Universe

"The Queen of World Peace" reads the caption beneath a harshly lit beauty-queen shot of Hudson at Queenkathryn.com. There are many items for sale, including several dozen boudoir shots of Hudson; an assortment of Queen Kathryn products, such as Fudge Fatale candy and Sacred perfume; and Queen Kathryn, the Movie, starring Hudson in a gold Xena-like outfit. The synopsis explains that Queen Kathryn hails from the planet Nebaron, is raised by the Yodecian tribe in the Himalayas, and opens Starshine Dance Studios in Los Angeles, from where she and a "harem of young girls" fight the evil force known as Gregorian Mansoon, whose "mission is to turn the people of L.A. into Reptilian Lizards." There are many testaments to how loving and giving Hudson is, and a single mention of Ching Hai, in a link to "Humanitarians of the 21st Century," a pantheon that includes Prince William, Julia Roberts, Anthony Robbins and "YOU."

Not me.