But I do love a good, random matchup. That is why March Madness brackets are eagerly filled out every year at my house. And the matchups in the Burbank city league are as chaotically random as you please. The KROQ Donkeys? A lot of fat gargoyles that show up with bong water spilled on their uniforms and weedy hair. They might play the Burbank Police Department, who match them in girth but not in temper. Biggest group of babies ever compiled. And they never lose, because the refs are deathly afraid of jaywalking tickets. Or you might get Tin Horn, a team of city workers, going head to head with Access Hollywood, or Extra. Even Disney has a team that is definitely more Reich than Pocahontas.
When the Fotokem Players took on Tony's and One (a team sponsored by Tony's Darts Away -- advertising knows no bounds), I remembered, as a spectator, such greats as Wilt Chamberlain, Bill Walton, T.R. Dunn and Mo Cheeks, Pistol Pete and the White Shadow. It was a clinic of fundamental basketball, teamwork, strategy and agility. When the rookie on Tony's, who couldn't have been more than 57 years old, kissed it off the glass with a fadeaway jumper at game's end, I think I saw tears in his eyes. A Burbank resident, with a wife and two kids, a new hip and a pretty lousy golf handicap, had for one night been an MVP. It was triumphant down the board. Even Fotokem must have known that it was a Kodak moment. That basket narrowed the margin of defeat to 12 points for Tony's. A moral victory and an instant classic.
And that is why we come out to play. For the glory. For the beatings. For the camaraderie of team and the competition of our fellow red, white and blue-collar Angelenos. We vent, we cuss, we spit, and we pat asses -- just like they do in the CBA, just like in the pros. Only we do it in Burbank.
--Chuck Mindenhall
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