Pushing the Envelopes

Fair enough, although Steve Elowitz, store manager of Hollywood Toys & Costume, says, “It is not something we would feel good about carrying. We are more patriotic than that.” And, in fact, says Montoya, the demand is up for “anything red, white and blue, including hats, wigs and makeup.” Fireman outfits too: “So far we’ve sold around 100 fireman’s costumes. Police costumes are not popular though.”

Spookiest September 10 Headline

SKY’S LIMIT FOR WTC RETAILING

—N.Y. Daily News

Pardon My Apocalypse

Like all things American, September 11 has been spun into commercial pitches for everything from health spas (“An Antidote to Terror,” boasts the La Puente–based Urban Retreat chain) to the theater (“In the wake of the violent attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon,” says one press release, “CAL REP’s production of Murder by Israeli playwright, Hanoch Levin, may seem eerily apropos, yet . . .”). So perhaps it was no surprise to find a flier for the Universal World Church announcing October 21’s sermon title: “God’s Terrorist Gang!” Tacky? Perhaps, but the UWC is the gold-painted temple of the two evangelical oddities known as Miss Velma and the Rev. O. Lee Jaggers, and so a visit to their Westlake sanctuary seemed, well, eerily apropos.

As far as ecclesiastical analysis is concerned, however, the good Reverend’s homily fell disappointingly short of the flier’s promised “MESSAGE THAT NO ONE HAS EVER HEARD BEFORE!” After ruminating on the seven seals, seven trumpets and other septets for about 20 minutes, Dr. Jaggers allowed that the terrorist host presumably led by Osama bin Laden was in fact nothing less than the wrath of God now unleashed upon America for being “the most corrupt nation on Earth.” While at first claiming that our sins were too terrible for him to even enunciate to his congregation (he did relent a little by suggesting that some of them had to do with homosexuality and lesbianism), the Reverend promised to reveal them — next week. After this cliffhanger, his wife, Miss Velma, emerged from behind the church’s golden altar to anoint congregants — and to urge them to give more than ever in their tithes and offerings. The show continues this Sunday, 11 a.m., at 123 N. Lake St.

Additional research by Christine Pelisek