“Oh sure,” said Parity. “I’m sorry I woke you up. I was just . . . sorry. G’night.”
“G’night, Dad.”
Steven turned off the light. His father returned to bed.
At 5 a.m., Grace Parity had ceased her snoring, the sparrows returned to the dogwoods outside the bedroom window, and Seymour Parity lay awake, still, watching his sons — the hundreds of them — mow lawns.
The Do-It-Yourself Seymour Parity Multimedia Insomnia-Cure Purée A refreshing late-night treat that’ll lay you out flat in no timePreparation time: 10 minutes
Download the following four files:
1. A time-lapse MPEG video of the view from Alex Knowles’ office
2. A WAV of someone snoring
3. A WAV of Frank De Vol’s tennie-tappin’ theme from the hit television situation comedy My Three Sons
4. An MPEG video clip of the Brill Accu 38 cordless electric reel lawn mower — weighing just 36 pounds, the Brill Accu 38 comes with a standard 12-volt motor, a grass catcher, flame-hardened steel blades mounted on sealed ball bearings, and a standard Panasonic lead acid battery that mows for 30 minutes on a full charge — attacking unsuspecting prey.
Open all files in your registered QuickTime Player (unregistered players can’t play simultaneous files) and arrange to taste. Set the snoring, the My Three Sons and the mowing to Loop; set Alex Knowles’ view to Loop Back and Forth; kill the volume on the lawn mower; and select Play All Movies. A safer, more effective sleep aid you’ll not find without a prescription.
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