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“Somebody said we came from storks,” says announcer Max Lobkowicz into the microphone. “We don’t do animal sex here. We come from cunts, beautiful wet cunts . . .” Lying only a few feet away on a heavily pillowed, red-satin bed, L.A.’s sex therapist Dr. Susan Block coos into her headset, “Testing, testing, testosterone, testicles.”
Clad in a green bra-and-panties set, fishnets, garters, knee-length black lace-up boots and a fuzzy black gangster hat, Block is broadcasting her online show Saturday night from her new 10,000-square-foot erotic-art gallery in downtown Los Angeles. About 35 of Block’s friends, including peepshow king Lasse Braun and L.A. Free Presspublisher Art Kunkin, are on hand to celebrate her birthday (Block, who appears 40-ish, refuses to give her age). They watch the cable-access queen talk dirty, fondle herself and advise callers on their sex lives.
“Welcome to the twilight zone of sex. We speak about sex in all its fun and splendor,” she purrs. “We are all born from sex. We are all children of sex. Sex is what brings us into the world and sex is what keeps us around for a while.”
Sex has kept the philosophy Ph.D. in business since the early ’80s. Although she has no degree in psychology, sex therapy or human behavior, Block’s Web-site advice program averages 2,000 visitors a show. “You don’t need a degree to help someone,” says Block. “Most people are guessing when it comes to helping another person you don’t know.” The Philadelphia native began a professional radio career interviewing people who placed personal ads, then moved to public-access cable and, later, the Net before landing shows on HBO’s Radio Sex TV and Real Sex. In July, Block’s gallery will premiere “Democratic Sex,” an exhibit she bills as political erotic art.
Meanwhile, Block, surrounded by a veritable garage sale of erotic memorabilia, including a museum-size collection of dildos (OffBeat’s favorite model is the Clinton), jumps from sex to her endorsement of Al Gore over George W. Bush — she calls the latter a “dangerous dufus.”
In the middle of a tirade against the LAPD, Block is informed that her first caller, Jason, is on the line. He is having trouble reaching orgasm, to the chagrin of his girlfriend. Block concludes that it is not Jason’s position or technique that is holding him back but mental pressure. “You don’t need to cum, Jason,” she says. “In fact, don’t cum. Take the pressure off and you’ll probably cum more often,” she concludes. “Hmm, reverse psychology,” ponders a thankful Jason before he hangs up. Later, there is Paula, who asks how to please a woman, and Peter, who claims his wife can’t orgasm unless she has sex with their two Great Danes. Block is never at a loss for an answer.
“I am just feeling around in the dark, giving my own experiences and opinions to try and help,” she says. —Christine PelisekEdited by Gale Holland