By Hillel Aron
By Joseph Tsidulko
By Patrick Range McDonald
By David Futch
By Hillel Aron
By Dennis Romero
By Jill Stewart
By Dennis Romero
One of the exciting innovations Fox brought to Dodger Stadium this year — as part of the all-audio-visual-all-the-time-the-ball-is-not-in-play philosophy in nuevoChavez Ravine — is the blasting of a snippet of a player’s favorite music as he comes up to bat. In a season filled with many questions and almost no answers, perhaps a review of the Dodgers’ musical choices can begin to explain why Rupert Murdoch’s boys never seemed to be playing on the same page — or even on the same ball field. Here, highlights from the Dodger playlist:
PLAYER GROUP/ARTIST SONG
Chan Ho Park D.O. Funk various
Mark Grudzielanek Ozzy Osbourne "Crazy Train"
Darren Driefort George Strait "Heartland"
Ismael Valdes Mariachi Vargas various
Devon White TLC "No Scrubs"
Raul Mondesi His own band
Antonio Osuna Band El Recodo "El Sinaloese"
No list was available for manager Davey "My Way" Johnson, general manager Kevin "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" Malone or ousted president Bob "I’m Leaving on That Midnight Train to Georgia" Graziano, but we’ll take suggestions.
BORN TO RANT
Apparently there was no rehearsal for Sunday night’s opening of the spanking-clean Staples Center for the first of four Bruce Springsteen concerts. We were willing to overlook the snacking security guards. And the $12.50 parking fee. And the $6.75 beers (Bud). And the half-dozen ushers who looked at our tickets and did not know where to direct us (not upstairs), especially the one who looked up at the seating-section numbers on the walls and said, "Let’s see, the numbers go up — no, they go down." We didn’t mind showing the concession workers (twice) how to properly pour a beer. Such glitches and hitches were to be expected on opening night. And at a cost of $400 million, the place needs to sell a lot of Bud.
But someone in Staples Center management needs to figure out how to get people with tickets at will call into their seats in a timely fashion. We got in line with a few hundred others at 5:30 p.m., two hours before the show was scheduled to start. At 6:45, we noticed we hadn’t moved from the same spot for 45 minutes. (Is this what Staples means by stationary?) The line had deteriorated into a shapeless body blob, and people were cutting in. Some fans suggested to the security guards that they might want to construct a barrier to keep the line in order. What a concept! A few guards seemed genuinely sympathetic as more scammers infiltrated the mess. About 7:15, a guy with a walkie-talkie showed up — and told us to form a line! Fans — generally an older (i.e., old) and well-mannered bunch — started to turn into older, well-mannered vigilantes.
"We are great thieves," Staples general manager Bobby Goldwater told the Los Angeles Times Magazine. "We took every good idea done in other arenas and brought it here to the Staples Center, and in a big way." Obviously, Mr. Goldwater never visited the Forum, where by contrast the will-call crowd moves at the relative speed of light with lots of open windows and a railing to keep people in line. After two hours and 15 minutes, we finally headed in for our first whiff of that new-arena smell. We did like the cup holders, though.