Rock & Roll Jinx

Politics and rock & roll just don’t mix. In 1988, Bush campaign manager Lee Atwater tried to soften the harsh realities of Republican policy by presenting himself as a kinder, gentler guitar picker, only to end up with terminal cancer; four years later, Bill Clinton blew sax with the band on The Arsenio Hall Show, and we all know how he got blown. Now, with her withdrawal this week from the Republican presidential race, Elizabeth Dole has become the latest politician to underestimate the subversive power of rock. At a rally following her third-place finish in the Iowa straw poll last month, Dole ended a speech to the chiming chords of the Rolling Stones’ "Start Me Up," a song best known these days for pumping up the crowd at sporting events. Clearly, Dole had something of the same effect in mind for her supporters, who could be seen swaying and clapping to the driving beat. Just as clearly, though, she never bothered listening to the song’s lyrics; otherwise, she might have noticed that they include the line "You make a dead man cum."

Now we’re not saying rock & roll alone dashed Dole; she cited the voracious money-sucking machine of rival George W. Bush. But we can’t help thinking rock played a part. Certainly the ironies in her song selection were thick, beginning with the idea of the Rolling Stones, the onetime bad boys of the counterculture, licensing their work to a family-values candidate like Liddy Dole. Actually, she might have inadvertently stumbled onto the perfect campaign slogan. Her husband, Bob, was an early advocate of Viagra, the sexual wonder drug, and if he isn’t dead, he has been forgotten by the culture. Even OffBeat might have been inclined to vote for her had she stumped across America proclaiming, "Elizabeth Dole: She Makes a Dead Man Cum."

OffBeat is a slave to hipness, so we were thrilled to read in Sunday’s L.A. TimesSouthern California Living section that L.A. was winning the hipness wars with New York. Imagine our consternation, then, when, continuing to leaf through our Sunday Times, we discovered that the Magazine had declared "Hip Hotels" to be a New York thing! Thoroughly confused, we anxiously scanned the copy for guidance and found that while L.A. may have a "groovy young kid kind of rock ’n’ roll–y scene going on," New York’s hip hotels "are the nightclubs of the ’90s." L.A.’s reasonable rents and "kickin’" street life make it like "being in New York without the smell of urine," Living assured us. But New York’s hotels allow you to lounge about in rooms where movie stars and fashion models are photographed, "a little anxious about fitting in," the Magazine counterpunched. New York’s hip hotels have Rupert Murdoch and Calvin Klein, L.A. has Ally McBealco-star Gil Bellows, the dueling Timesarticles averred. Would it have been too much to ask that the Timeskeep its hip-o-meter on the same setting for an entire edition? OffBeat was so confused and upset, we had to take three aspirin and crawl under the Italian-made sheets in our Philippe Starck–designed bed with mountains of Talk, Jane, Allureand Detailsmagazines to make sure our hipness quotient wasn’t slipping.

MIXNER ASKS/CLINTON TELLS

The joint appearance of President Bill Clinton and political strategist David Mixner at the ANGLE (Access Now for Gay and Lesbian Equality) fund-raiser in L.A. this month signaled an important reconciliation between the Democratic Party and the gay community — just in time for rich gay donors to pony up for the 2000 elections. A friend of Bill’s since they took part in the anti-war protests of the ’60s, Mixner had engaged in a war of his own against Clinton after the president sold out gays in the military with the wimpy "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" formula in 1993. Mixner penned a book critical of the president’s backpedaling, and was arrested at a demonstration in front of the White House, denouncing his former compatriot. But at the gala, the two were clearly back on friendly terms. Mixner declined to comment on the rapprochement, which reportedly took place during a private conversation aboard Air Force One.

No matter, the high-gloss event at the Beverly Hilton, which raised $850,000 for the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, was one of the most successful fund-raisers of its type in history. Governor Gray Davis, Sheila Kuehl and Dick Gephardt mingled with Politically Incorrect’s Bill Maher, seen snuggling with a RuPaul look-alike, and openly gay Ellen DeGeneres (of the politically correct but canceled Ellen), who schmoozed openly heterosexual Eric McCormack (Will of the politically correct and highly rated Will & Grace). One of the highlights was the Gay Men’s Chorus’ campy rendition of a song from When Pigs Fly, "A Patriotic Finale," extolling the impact of gays in America. The Prez was impressed:"I was back there, feverishly trying to write down all those lines. I want to call Hillary and give her some of the best ones," he said. For the record, the lyrics were provided as per Clinton’s request.